Showing posts with label father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label father. Show all posts

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Potato love


I love you Ezra's dad and Ezra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Baltics


Мы эмигранты
И грустны и странны
Наша дорога бесконечна
Найти и снова
потерять
Наша дорога бесконечна

My teenage friend Rebekka just shared Alina Orlova's videos. She is so cute. I mean Rebekka, and Alina too. They are both from Lithuania :) have curly hair, beautiful eyes and free spirit. I don't know there is something about Baltic people. They have this unexplainable melancholy mixed with cold beauty that makes you fall for them. And actually they both, Rebekka and Alina, have this funny accent in Russian. I never thought I would say this because my accent is not less funny, especially the way I pronounce some specific letters.

It's also funny I have never mentioned before on my blogs that my grandmother from father's side was Estonian. I have never met her for she died while giving birth to my father. Yep. My father has been in trouble since he was born. Trouble man. It must be terrible if you realize that your mother died having you, no?
Although I have always imagined her, the grandmother I've never met, as tall, skinny woman with big green eyes, blonde or reddish hair, wearing vintage dress and walking on the sun... her face glowing and eyes dreaming about seeing me - her granddaughter she never really saw. It's funny, I suppose I've been imagining her as the young and lovely woman, why would she dream about me anyway? I think every girl has thought about her grandchildren even once in a lifetime. We all would like to imagine having grandchildren one day who will look like us a little, who will remember us, who will dream of us and say sweet things about us. I cannot say if I look like my grandmother, even though I used to have strawberry blonde hair as a child.

Life is just as that song of Alina's - "emigrants". So realistic. Sometimes I feel like I am this eternal wanderer - dwelling here and there, looking for a place and space to find serenity.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Turquoise dreams


"La Piscine"

Sometimes I miss my father. I wish I knew him better. And whenever I miss him I watch Alain Delon's movies. He looked like Alain Delon very much, sometimes they have same look that breaks my heart. I have realized that every man who I either like or hate looks like my father. Freud was genius.

One and only ROMY SCHNEIDER

"La Piscine" (Swimming pool) - the turquoise 1969 movie of Jacques Deray with Alain Delon, Romy Schneider and young Jane Birkin.

Jane Birkin

It is not a movie to talk about, it is to see... to dive into late 60's and sadly remember that those years will never be back as my father is not to be freed from his demons. I have heard from many people how they wished to live in 60's, but I DO LIVE 60's for I have my own world where I can avoid everything and everyone and just swim in a Piscine of turquoise dreams.

10/10