Controversial love of mine

This morning I woke up and realized that I miss Midrasha a lot. Particularly coming down to the kitchen filled with dozens of girls making mess on the table, kitchen desk, then myself giving them a "mussar", sometimes even being harsh on them and still loving them all so much.

You will never know this feeling if you have only lived home under the wing of your mum eating vanilla cream muffins every morning and kissing your dad goodbye. Girls of the midrasha are so controversial from different countries, family backgrounds, education, age, social and intellectual abilities, mentalities... So what, Abraham Ybn Ezra would say, don't expect me to be perfect when I am living in this controversial world. I love Ybn Ezra and I love my very dear controversial midrasha of Berlin - best place to grow up spiritually and physically, to learn how to get on with the various girls with various characters, to speak different languages and still every Shabbat going to synagogue and singing the beloved tune of Lecha Dodi, no matter who came from where, everybody loves and enjoys being Jewish there. Even people who want to become Jewish and feel the connection had come in the midrasha and felt the difference from the rest of the seminaries: that is what I call - authenticity. Authenticity of each and every girl, each and every teacher whether they come from Soviet Union or United States, or even very sophisticated Great Britain and fancy South Africa, everyone's dedicated and has one goal:
to be right, to develop and grow the love to Torah in every girl's heart. And as we all know, it is mostly about heart when it comes to the girls.

Last week Rivkah Carl, the former madricha, called me up to say goodbye for she was leaving next day to the states. I felt such love towards her. One needs so little to feel happy and glad; we spoke about the past year in the midrasha, the ups and downs, but hey, who could recall the downs? NOBODY. There is always 'ups' over there in the Lauder Midrasha, even if sometimes girls feel lonely and tired, under pressure or under excitement (for example if somebody's getting married and they have to get dressed and made up properly), but in the end of the day they could always find Rivkah, or Michal (the one and only em bayit Mrs Garrett, who I love so much), or even me (not so calm and wise as Michal but always ready to give a huge hug to anyone needed) to confide in and talk.

I don't know how it is going to be this year in the midrasha. There will be new management, new girls, new teachers, new family living on the third floor where all of us used to stick up colorful papers on the wall writing messages to the Garretts. I believe this new zman will be wonderful with Hashem's help, but we will never be the same, will we? We all grow up and change, leave the midrasha and have it also leaving amazing trail on our mind and soul. May all of us who have been or will be there always take positive, useful and sunny messages from the very controversial place of the world.

Lastly, not least though, thanks to Josh Spinner for founding place like this and giving us this opportunity. May you live long and happy life with your lovely family!!!