Shabbat girls

We had really full house Shabbat this week. On Friday evening we had the mother and brother of my husband. We had chicken breasts with simple sauce and fried potatoes. For dessert I have baked Apple sauce whole wheat cake which is very delicious and easy to make, plus it rhymes, right? Funny thing is that cake is very healthy but I made the very unhealthy topping from kosher parve whipping cream that I mixed with strawberry jam and couple of spoonful sugar. We had nice chat and all, as usual my brother-in-law was grumpy about everything. He's like this eternal teenager disliking everything, complaining and then mocking. He's a great guy and good uncle, cares about Ezra, helps us with him whenever he can and gives presents to him, but such impossible one he is.

As for Friday night, it's always beautiful, candles lit on the table, flowers that my husband buys for me every erev Shabbat, hot food smell and the mood of something high coming to us for a day. They don't call Shabbat the Queen for nothing - it's really like that. No matter how tired we are Shabbat always lights and cheers our spirits; even my mum tells me she misses Shabbats at our home.

Old Midrasha days - Old Midrasha Me

Saturday morning gets little moody though, especially when you have little baby who doesn't let you sleep long. My husband leaves before 9 for synagogue, and then I pray Ezra would sleep little more and let me get some rest too. Today he napped for an hour, but it wasn't enough for me anyway. I was too tired for last week was exhausting and one Shabbat couldn't absorb it all. Plus Ezra's been coughing and sneezing for almost 5 days and you know it's so hard for mum. My heart breaks when he coughs or has blocked nose. It should pass soon, please Hashem.
Now back to Saturday morning again. After my husband comes from synagogue we make kiddush on wine and challas like we do every Friday night (blessings are difference naturally), and have delicious dinner. There were times we also used to nap but now it goes with Ezra's schedule.
This Shabbat was one of those, when my mother-in-law put Ezra to sleep and I couldn't slip away that chance, you know, so said quick "Shabbat Shalom" to everyone and jumped in bed to sleep a little.
Because I was expecting a guest from Berlin, namely, one girl from the midrasha (seminary where I've studied and lived for 2 years) and a boy who works at the youth centre where the Shabbat guests are usually hosted, plus he lives a block away from us and would've been a guide to our guest.
At 15:15 Ezra woke up and so did I, then I started to change him and my husband called me that our guests had already come and waited downstairs.
Well, there were more than 2 guests though. One more girl from the midrasha and other young pregnant woman of our community. I got really excited for I love receiving guests and treating them with sweets (I've mentioned we had delicious whole wheat cake, right?). It's always refreshing having young people around, isn't it. Especially knowing where they come from and watching them talk, walk and do things I used to do. It also made me realise how different I've become and how my points of view have changed since then. I mean, I've always been a rebel and no seminary could've possibly brainwashed me, but I realise now that there were times when I actually let some people or situations to influence me. It is not that bad, it helps a lot to step up and get over, go through and find your very own way, if you know what I mean.
I am sure those girls will find too. They are lovely and very positive girls. Definitely completed our Shabbat and Ezra loved one of those girls too who played with him and held him. He is everything but shy, especially when it comes to girls ;-)

One more Shabbat is over and new week has started. May all of us have nice, sunny, calm, lucky and joyful week! AMEN!!!

Capricorn - THE SIGN

To Alla, the true Capricorn from Hannover

Careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.

"Into the wild"

Are you a Capricorn?

You cannot just be a Capricorn, you needed to earn to be one somehow. Cannot really tell why do some people deserve to be Capricorns but in fact they do.
I do.
So do you.

Life is what you make it, I have always believed especially then, when I left my sunny home for this cold country and the Berlin Midrasha which changed my life.
Still, looking back and remembering people, things, places that I've seen, been or had, made me realize that everything would be different if I was not a Capricorn. Thank G-d, I am.

Any book you read about zodiac signs you see that the Capricorn is an Earthly sign with strong character traits: ambitious, organized, motivated, stubborn and humorous. What else can you ask for in this world?..
No book or paper will provide you with the true Capricorn features though.

Should I try to?

Well:

All we really strive for is LOVE.
All we really care about is LOVE.
All we really give is LOVE.
All right, some might chuckle about our "lovability" which can get very weird sometimes, because all we do is to put our heart and mind in it and might get obsessed with ideas and ideals, note it.
All or nothing.

There is a little funny fact I cannot get away with. Girl Capricorns always marry THE ones. It might seem little funny but all these four women I mention below were born under the Capricorn sign and please don't tell it is just a coincidence. There are no such thing in my mind. There is something supernatural about Capricorns:
Princess Kate
Michelle Obama
Mrs Saakashvili
Madame Sarkozy
Although your husband is neither prince nor president now, remember, it is just about time. Just about time, have patience ;)

Honestly speaking, it is always up to women what way to choose and which shoes to wear (in this case not literally); and the girl Capricorn is much matured and witty than the boy as it always happens between sexes.

• Even if a girl Capricorn looks weak and needs a shoulder to cry on, at the end of the day it is her who showers her friends and family with love and comfort, never losing strength and being energetic when exhausted.
• Girl Capricorn is confident, extremely sensitive and there is little scary thing about her: she can also get icy cold and not let anyone get close. She can shut down herself, eat oneself inside out but never show it to others.
• Capricorns are very goal-oriented indeed, but most of them do not really care about career. Admit it. Capricorns would love to break free and never let system get them down. They would love to live peaceful life - write, paint, travel and give as much love as it is possible.
• What is most adorable about Capricorn is that it never loses hope and keeps positivity shining through; Capricorns never give up and if they ever do, it is just because they have found something better to go after.

Capricorns will always be.
Capricorns will always rule (at least their husbands will).

Happy Birthday dear Capricorns of the world, enjoy life! Don't be afraid to rise and fall. Love and be loved. Let the sunshine in!!!

Letter club

Today I imagined that I was some old times English lady writing a letter to her friend in another town. I found the pen that I have not used for a long time, got papers from my old note-book, took an envelope from my husband's drawer and got down to writing.
Whenever you do something you need to feel comfortable. Even writing a letter should be cozy and make you feel good; so I sat in my kitchen which has a nice view to the green backyard wearing a green Zara cardigan and green ear-rings I have bought two years ago in Berlin.
And the pen started to slip on the paper like it did not belong to me at all.
That is what usually happens to me - when I start to write ideas, thoughts come so randomly all I have to do is to follow the pen and make it write slower for nobody would have been able to read what I had written.

People don't write letters to friends nowadays. They write e-mails I know. I e-mail everyone all the time too but you can never compare an e-mail to a real letter written by not computer or some typewriting machine but a living human hand.
My husband has beautiful hand writing in fact. Mine is awful. I write fast and never mind the size of the letters. I make notes to him when I leave, or when I want to make his day... then he comes to me asking what have I actually written.
Nonetheless I write and write because that's what I feel quite good at.

I had some weird professor in my freshman year at University who taught Linguistics and she used to repeat the following: "Verba volant, scripta manent" meaning 'Words fly while letters remain'. Even though I used to think she was scary and giving students hard time now I absolutely agree (should I feel little nervous what if I am getting weird too?).
So if the letters remain imagine how eternal our writings could be? You may write some funny story or a witty line which will make someone's day in a ten year's time or next century. Why talk about someone in a century but yourself, you may find your old diary that you kept when you were a teenager, find some lines you had scribbled there and here you go - happy, inspired and feeling loved.

That's my letter club all about, I decided this morning in my very kitchen writing a letter to a friend. I will write letters and mail them around to people I think of. Some people design clothes, some run the companies, some direct movies, some break hearts, some never smile and look gloomy, and I will be the head of my own letter club in my kitchen distributing moment of "scripta" happiness.
Don't let the word "moment" puzzle you, nothing lasts forever anyway and one precious moment is more important than the simple mundane decade.

Yours truly,

Sophie

Controversial love of mine

This morning I woke up and realized that I miss Midrasha a lot. Particularly coming down to the kitchen filled with dozens of girls making mess on the table, kitchen desk, then myself giving them a "mussar", sometimes even being harsh on them and still loving them all so much.

You will never know this feeling if you have only lived home under the wing of your mum eating vanilla cream muffins every morning and kissing your dad goodbye. Girls of the midrasha are so controversial from different countries, family backgrounds, education, age, social and intellectual abilities, mentalities... So what, Abraham Ybn Ezra would say, don't expect me to be perfect when I am living in this controversial world. I love Ybn Ezra and I love my very dear controversial midrasha of Berlin - best place to grow up spiritually and physically, to learn how to get on with the various girls with various characters, to speak different languages and still every Shabbat going to synagogue and singing the beloved tune of Lecha Dodi, no matter who came from where, everybody loves and enjoys being Jewish there. Even people who want to become Jewish and feel the connection had come in the midrasha and felt the difference from the rest of the seminaries: that is what I call - authenticity. Authenticity of each and every girl, each and every teacher whether they come from Soviet Union or United States, or even very sophisticated Great Britain and fancy South Africa, everyone's dedicated and has one goal:
to be right, to develop and grow the love to Torah in every girl's heart. And as we all know, it is mostly about heart when it comes to the girls.

Last week Rivkah Carl, the former madricha, called me up to say goodbye for she was leaving next day to the states. I felt such love towards her. One needs so little to feel happy and glad; we spoke about the past year in the midrasha, the ups and downs, but hey, who could recall the downs? NOBODY. There is always 'ups' over there in the Lauder Midrasha, even if sometimes girls feel lonely and tired, under pressure or under excitement (for example if somebody's getting married and they have to get dressed and made up properly), but in the end of the day they could always find Rivkah, or Michal (the one and only em bayit Mrs Garrett, who I love so much), or even me (not so calm and wise as Michal but always ready to give a huge hug to anyone needed) to confide in and talk.

I don't know how it is going to be this year in the midrasha. There will be new management, new girls, new teachers, new family living on the third floor where all of us used to stick up colorful papers on the wall writing messages to the Garretts. I believe this new zman will be wonderful with Hashem's help, but we will never be the same, will we? We all grow up and change, leave the midrasha and have it also leaving amazing trail on our mind and soul. May all of us who have been or will be there always take positive, useful and sunny messages from the very controversial place of the world.

Lastly, not least though, thanks to Josh Spinner for founding place like this and giving us this opportunity. May you live long and happy life with your lovely family!!!

Not November

It is not November I know that. Not to mention the sweet one.
I need no Mercedes either.
I have many scarves though.

My life in Berlin is coming to an end, I've been here for 16 months. I was good and bad. I felt lonely and had lots of fun with the Midrasha girls. Traveled enough, saw places, faces, spaces... many things have changed since I've come here.
I have too changed.

I don't write letters to Che Guevara anymore, don't get angry about social injustice and try to be patient with anything that comes my way. Well, it does not work sometimes.

Do you know what hasn't changed in me? I still close my eyes and imagine bluest sea and the sun hugging my shoulders, getting me sunny and free. I know all the theories about reality, life, people and the harsh destiny we have to handle since Adam and Eve decided to have the fruit they were not supposed to have.
Never mind Che Guevara, I wish I could write to Eve.
Or I may be talking to her everyday for I believe there has to be some part of her in me as in every other woman.

Haven't written anything lately... I guess I have been saying that forever. Gosh. Am I becoming one of those failed authors who keep complaining they cannot write? One of my friends from Georgia recorded my old poetry and sent to me. I cried. I used to write nice stuff and it is ironic all that I have written has come true. I do not remember my old feelings at all, I don't remember people who I thought I would never forget...
Everything has become just a tiny reminiscent of a somnambulic book called: Sophie's life before...

I am nothing but a dirt.
I am not the first to say that unfortunately.
We will all fade away.
Torah will remain - only thing that will always be as long as there is Someone watching over His creation.
Nothing else matters now and all I want is to go to sleep and let this week finish. SOON.

Orange walls and Ulysses with the lights off

It's getting harder and harder to breathe.
Maroon 5 has the copyright for these lyrics.
I had a friend who hated me.
Mayakovsky could never shoot himself.
This world turns on and on, and on...
Then you find yourself looking up the Zohar
Pretending you're so smart Shimon Bar Yochai would have adopted you.
Then you open your eyes and see the orange walls of your room.
You are still yourself - not knowing right from left.
At least that's what your friend thought.
Here you stop thinking and grab Ulysses.

Then you write the most insane lyric in the world.
Having found Drew Barrymore's weird photo
You can just post it and go to sleep.
You are too overwhelmed to sit and think.
Sylvia Plath was not Gwyneth Paltrow
Although Esther Greenwood was a virgin.
Nobody cares and you close all the books you've opened before.
23:35
Time to wake up some demons and dance the waltz till they drop off their scary bony jaws.
Tim Burton, come on, shoot somethin'

Ulysses gone.
Lights are on while someone comes in and says:
Turn'em off, Sophie, before you go to sleep.
Please.
I wish I could say: have I ever left the lights on? Do I look like someone leaving the lights on?
But you would never say that, Sophie, for the midrasha has trained you well.
All I say is: Sure. Good night.
Only then you can go back and e-mail your fiance.
The one who takes your breath away.
Lights go off as you start to leave for the orange room.
23rd of May, little crazy bride that you are, less than 4 weeks to go.

Berlin - Haus ohne Hüter?

Days are so long in May or it just seems to me because I want May to be over as soon as it could be. It's just 00:00 uhr and I feel like I've been living today's day forever. I wanted it to finish and now it's gone. I've witnessed one more 9th of May becoming part of the world history.
Do I represent a tiny bit of history too?
I am living it in Berlin and dreaming of its bohemian life in the mid 50's when the youth rebelled and Heinrich Böll published his "Haus ohne Hüter". And even then you could eat most delicious brown Brot with sunflower and sesame seeds, butter on it.

Can't write anything lately. I haven't written anything except my blogposts and pocket diary. Either I am too busy or too concentrated on what is going on in my life. Or both plus millions of other things that keep me away from literature. I have heard so much complains from the writers who are afraid to confess they have actually failed. What if I am also a failure writer? I have not written anything interesting since last year I guess.

I went for a walk today and visited couple of book-stores trying to find something new to read. I feel such cultural thirst cannot even explain. I need literature so badly. I need to read and write, to be inspired and feel that I can express myself on paper (not literally nowadays). Did not find anything though and decided first I should try to write and then read new books if I find anything amusing and worth while.

I have all I need though.
I really do.
All I need.

All about it

I wish I could wake up and see the face I have dreamed about last night.
I wish I had a daisy field.
I wish I were a little wild girl with golden hair running through that very daisy field.
I wish I were somewhere warm and sunny.

Then I realize it is not about where you are, who you are or what you have been dreaming about - it is all about your heart. It is all about your soul; about your shining face and sad eyes. It is always about one's heart and mind.
Dear friend of mine told me that I often say very HIGH things which make one nervous, but I cannot help - I feel that way. Sometimes I feel so HIGH spiritually that I am to explode with this belief and trust to Almighty. Really.

[Missing my youngest aunt. Woke up and remembered about her today. She is so cool and understanding, I wish I could talk to her more, to sit there with her knowing she could just listen and tell me softly whatever is good.]

All I really wish is happiness and health for me and my offspring (whenever I'll have'em)!!!
Nothing else matters. Absolutely nothing.

go

Feeling so sleepy and tired.
Weather is just what one may ask for a day like this: rainy, moody, grey... go to sleep, something is whispering in my ears... go and dive into your violet dreams... go and catch some stars above... go and swim upstream the river of your subconscious... go, go, go!

It's never over

Oh, Lenny, Lenny... not that you are someone special or anything... it is all about your voice and sensual songs full of emotions, little teasing and smooth as hell; as if hell was supposed to be smooth. How can you tell what is hell like? Has anyone ever returned from there? There is no hell, people, no heaven either - it is all about wandering and wondering in and out of your head. Life's never over till it's REALLY over...

"Even the righteous suffer when G-d punishes the wicked" - Radak comments on this week's Haftarah and it is just about on time to comfort me.

Strawberry Marshmallows

Февраль. Достать чернил и плакать!
Писать о феврале навзрыд,
Пока грохочущая слякоть
Весною черною горит.

My every February belongs to the Boris Pasternak mood. Every year I start with hope that this February is going to be better than the previous. It is better indeed. My life changes, my thoughts change, although cold February still comes and goes with the same strange feeling... there is some sweetness in life that I go on searching... there is something that keeps me warm and smily... there is something that gives me strength and I know I can also give it back: the hope, the grace, the love, the smile filled with strawberry marshmallow sweetness.

Yellow soph_marine

Yellow is the colour of my attitude not only today - sunny, bright and full of fun. No matter what is going on in my life I always try to find a positive thing about it. What else can I do anyway? Sit and cry my eyes out? NO!!! I am not that kind of girl depressing herself, I can be sad and low but as long as I see the sun through clouds I know there is always something to hold on.

Yesterday my day was not this yellow though: it was more lilac, let me put it this way. It was more like a surreal movie shot in one room and still much meaningful than it could have been in some open area. It was intense, hard to control or be completely natural - in the end of the day I felt like I had taken part in some psychological experiment where you are allowed to watch rare dessert and not touch while you are so damn hungry. Now I think how strong one still can be and capable to control oneself. I mean, it is the best thing you realize afterwards - there is nothing like working on yourself and being able to remain faithful to your principles.
That's why I love life because it sets so many challenges to me.

It is so sunny in Berlin I can go mad :) And I am wearing my yellow sweater and tights shining in and out the midrasha swaying to the Lambada rhythms and feeling unbelievable spiritual freedom. I wish I knew what I mean by this SPIRITUAL FREEDOM, I can just feel it.

Have a great yellow week full of Sunshine in your heart and mind!!!

Take a breath

Voice is not back yet, but attitude is better. I woke up this morning hoping that would be able to speak but still could not. I felt like I could talk really, throat was not sore anymore, but my voice still harsh.

Trying to write a letter (a real letter) to a friend who cheered me up yesterday, read stories to me and I felt like I was little sick child who is so lonely and away home; only thing that makes her happy is a "radio" with dear voice. I wanted to say how happy I was and how safe I felt listening to it. It is unbelievable when you don't need to speak but listen and let it be.
So I decided to write a letter and have even started when one girl came into my room and wanted to talk, asked loads of questions of course. Why do people always try to get something out of you even if you can't talk? They just love to know all about others' lives, don't they?
And why am I so indifferent about others' lives? Does it make me too self-centered? Maybe it does. I don't want to know what others do, how they live - it is all up to them. I love people the way they are and I don't want to dig in their minds. I want to live my own life without manuals if you know what I mean. I actually do. Who could have thought that I would have lost my voice and someone would read stories to me? What kind of manual could have predicted that anyway?..

I suddenly miss Lila - my cousin and best friend. I miss how we used to sit in my kitchen - she would drink coffee and I - tea. We would talk about kinky things, about boys, love, music, movies. We would laugh and be happy. I would love to sit with her in any kitchen now and talk till midnight.
It's like my friend often says that nothing is like just talking about simple things.

Drop the philosophy, live life and laugh.

I love you, Lila.
And thinking of you, dear friend of mine.

Viva El Tango

Tango!!!
Oh, how I love it! No matter fast or slow. Classic or modern. Just let me take over the dance floor, willya?

Grey Berlin and the movie life

Marilyn's pictures always inspire me. I'd love to think that I am her reincarnation in a way. At least I believe I have the little piece of her soul in me.

I had the best week end in Leipzig full of fun, emotions and alcohol. What else does a girl like me need?
Shabbat was amazing, very well organized. The Khabinsky family just swell. Went for bowling although my bowling skills not that swell. I had fun though. I liked to be there where my people were.
Visited the coffee museum on Sunday and wrote a note in a guest book. In Georgian :) I wrote that life is a movie, especially my life and I wish it remains that way: beautiful, challenging, and sweet. So is coffee, no?

Berlin is grey today. Grey and sleepy.

My friend texted me this morning. It is so nice to know how one feels, probably because I kind of felt that way too. Sometimes I am scared to show off my emotions, but then I remind myself I should not be embarrassed about my feelings and be free. I am free. Right? You are, Sophie. Thank you, friend of mine :)

My dear Robergs got back in Berlin and it makes me happy. Rabbi Roberg gave a shiur this morning. He has cold, I am so worried about him. He looked tired and pale. My heart really hurt. He is like my grandpa you know, he has supported me in many things, and has always shown he and rebbetzin are always there for me. So I felt like it is my very close person ill and weak, and I can't help with anything. I wish I could tell him how I love and respect him, I am sure he knows that anyway.

Gosh. This Tuesday blues is so funny and melancholic at the same time. Weird, isn't it? Not only Mondays, Tuesdays can be blue too.
All I ask for is - no more snow, G-d, please!!! I can't take any more cold, really. Let the Spring come and embrace me!

Quote of Tuesday

Woman is a kaleidoscope of emotions.

Talya Rose

If only

"If I survive this Winter,
If only the wind lets me live" - this is my translation of the famous Georgian poet's lines. I think it is absolutely about me. German winter is too long for my sunny soul. You know I am so fond of walking, but how can I walk in this cold? Having sore nose and coughing forever I guess. I dream about the Spring - warm rays of the sun, green leaves on the trees, putting away the winter coat, boots and run to embrace the new season.
Merde! I am such a drama queen who is rather good comedian if you know what I mean.
No Spring two more months at least, Soph.

Drop the Winter.
Today when rebbetzin Ziskind from England gave a shiur I realized that people are so stupid. So am I sometimes. We have absolutely wrong attitudes - we label things, we label people, we label everything we can. It is kind of funny that I have mentioned ATTITUDE in my last update too and today's shiur was also about attitude. It is so important you know - how you look at things and how you look at yourself too. Well, I looked at myself today and said: Hey, you, sunny, funny, witty one, just stop and enjoy life! Because life is much more than you think - it is hard and sweet at the same time; you are surrounded by lovely and caring people; you have all you need so far. You just love troubling yourself, worrying and crying your heart out. Relax!
Yes, sometimes I can be really nutty and it even helps.

So - I will definitely survive this Winter. I am going to have good attitude about everything.

שבוע טוב!!!

World in a different shape

I posted few hours ago and now I feel so calm, it is unbelievable. My mood is totally depended on the moon you know, now it's Rosh Chodesh have that in mind.

Went to the Smiths today, my chessed family, sweetest and nicest people ever. Rabbi Smith is a rosh yeshiva - the smartest man I've ever seen, calm and nice as well. And rebbetzin is as dear as it could be. Gosh. Will I ever achieve that level of bitachon and serenity? I told her I feel very nervous about various things, and find so difficult to relax and just believe everything is going to be all right with Hashem's help even though I am sure it will. I still worry and think about it. She just smiled and said that everything we do is from G-d, even the mistakes are helpful; one grows so much from them, becomes better person (ideally). She really calmed me down. Then her children started to cry and she just handled them with smile and asked with sweet voice to go to sleep. They have three small kids who I absolutely adore and learn so much from them. I mean the way rebbetzin Smith treats her children is amazing - she never raises a voice, lets them have fun and go little wild. I love that. I love when parents let their children to enjoy their childhood. She actually told me that she believes - when they grow up they should remember how nice their childhood was and how free they have been.

I also believe in that you should bring up your children very relaxed, let them be free and wild. I mean, life is going to be hard enough once they are old so why set limits? I hope and pray to be able to have children like that - healthy and happy. I will let them go crazy, get soaked wet, eat cakes with hands and laugh a lot. Seriously, when I hold baby Yedidia Smith in my arms I realize that I am going to be most cool and funny mother ever.

Yes, everyone needs family and children to feel complete. And an ATTITUDE. Attitude and ability to love and be loved you know. Had a conversation with Michal Garrett recently, she is this young American woman I am friends with, plus she teaches at the midrasha, and we came to conclusion that love is necessary. Nothing can be built up only on rational decisions, you need to feel and care about the person you marry. You need to talk and be free, be open with each other. Man. This is the most important relationship in the world - anything else just gets behind.

Life is amazing after all, isn't it? You just go out, meet people, talk to them and see the world in a different shape.

Made of

Sometimes I feel like this angry teenager who is ready to crash it all, to rebel against everything, to screw all the rules and run away... then this very old and matured lady comes within me and calms me down because anger won't lead me anywhere. Who should I be angry at anyway? At life? At my parents? At me? Or at G-d? It is all so relative.
I mean they are all related to each other - life, parents, me and G-d. That is all I am made of, ain't I? And I am not talking about specific anger or anything, no it is just things that I wish I could do but I cannot. I feel like a stranger in my own body walking and talking. Perhaps it is the mission I have come to this world for - to be against the system, looking for truth and thinking my brains out.

I am afraid of life. I think I don't understand it at all.

Monday chicken

Who said that French is the language of love? It is Greek - language of έρωτα. Language to tell sweet things to your dear people. No other language expresses love more than this one. Who would tell you that: You are "αναπνοή μου" (my breath) or "ψυχή μου" (my soul)?

I found this blog the other day and fell in love immediately. I love the way she writes (I believe it is she) and shares her thoughts to the world. You may have no idea how inspiring it is to know that there is someone little bit like you, who likes the Gotan Project, poetry and has been collecting emotions since she was a kid: "...από παιδάκι μαζεύω, μαζεύω,".

One and only Romy Schneider

How is my "sunny funny witty" life?

• I had a dream last night that I was Romy Schneider trying to catch the train. My dreams are so semi-fictional.
• Before I went to sleep Lea called me from Israel, my old sweet Georgian friend. So nice when you receive calls like that. And after talking to her I could not sleep for hours. I hope she will be fine and all her dreams come true.
• The midrasha has started today officially - still lots of girls haven't come back yet.
• Weather is ok which means not very cold for Berlin.
• I hurt my foot, don't know how though - one good reason to feel emotional and cry my heart out. Moonlight is over me I guess.
• Had chicken for dinner, most tasteless chicken I have ever eaten. I think she used to be the vegan chicken really, did not taste like meat at all. I mean very sensitive chicken.

I guess I hate Mondays. They make me feel so sad. New working week has started and all I want to do is to smell the sea, see the sun and drink the juice of mango. Or hide under the blanket and sleep like a baby bear until it is Summer and the light warms me up.