Swinging in the Rain

Shalom alechem, geshem!!!

These words came out when I left Lidl and the raindrops fell on my coat. I have no umbrella, no rain boots on me, how marvelous! - I smiled to the sky.
I don't know why I talked in Hebrew to the rain, that's just what came out from my heart at that moment.

And you know what happened yesterday?

After coming home from 3 hours waiting at the doctor's office, I looked at my phone and changed the weather forecast to Tbilisi. Then I napped for hours and after waking up, I looked at my phone again (how logical of our times) and wondered, why do I have Tbilisi forecast on my screen? I don't live there anymore... and my heart quenched a bit. I missed my Tbilisi, beautiful old city of my youth. City that will always be in my heart, no matter how old I am and where I live. It's the place I was born and the place I got my heart broken in. place where I know everything. Rather I knew. It should be different now, it's been 10 years since I left. Despite speaking millions (not literally) of languages, moving in different countries and cities, my heart probably is still 20, dreaming in rainy spring Tbilisi, listening to the radio and writing away...
Thanks, Hashem for that.

Georgia's on my mind

Thanks for sending this rain to cleanse my heart and soul, Hashem. I didn't think it would rain, it was such a clean sky when I woke up. I thought it would be freezing cold with sun. But there it came - sweet geshem of mine.

I'm officially sick with sinus infection. After bringing kids to school, shopping and having such sweet conversation with rain, I made my late favourite lavender tea with lemon and put some working jazz on to go on with this swinging mood...

I've been writing only about Sanditon lately and today this rain made me feel so good, I figured, I should write about my mood too.

I turned 35 in December. I'm a wife, mother, teacher, daughter, human!!! It feels like the quarter of my life has been lived and now I am this semi-wise lady that can tell you her opinion. Not that I was ever shy to express my mind, but now being 35 gives me the right to do so even more, does it not?
But on the contrary I've been quite silent, because I don't feel like sharing my opinion that much anymore. I've got responsibilities and once you say something, you cannot swallow it back. Now that I am older and supposed to be smarter, I try to be diplomatic, and am trying to let go of my insecurities, talk less and think more.
As my old dear friend told me: everything is under control, but not your's!

So let Hashem control it, since He is the best at that. And let me have this rainy day with music and my tea, swinging little blues on my heart.

go

Feeling so sleepy and tired.
Weather is just what one may ask for a day like this: rainy, moody, grey... go to sleep, something is whispering in my ears... go and dive into your violet dreams... go and catch some stars above... go and swim upstream the river of your subconscious... go, go, go!

SUNDAY

It doesn't rain - just feels like it does

It's been such a lonely day, really.
I had only 2 lessons in the morning, plus german with Genia and the 2 other girls.
Then had a dinner and old apple pies, I still like them.
Midrasha is empty and dirty after Shabbat party. Girls sleep all day long.
I walk alone :| then blog, tweet/twit, facebook, skype...
I even painted the Sun on the blackboard to look at it and feel like it's warm.
Actually there was quite sunny and nice weather in Berlin today. But it's not the weather that makes the sun shine, you know :(

Litening to Chopin and feel sleepy...