אין זמן תחת השמש

This morning slipped away from me...
Woke up and felt the non-existed sun on my shoulders.
Cinnamon tea gave my life back and I opened up the window to the world.
The world is cinnamon today.
It is like Aviv Geffen singing there is no time under the sun for wars and fights...

I had a feeling there was someone waiting for me behind the door. Someone sitting, reading and knowing I would soon wake up and smile.

It is as if I've been writing a book about myself, and this book is nothing but reminiscences of light. Do you know what I mean? The book of dreams and somnambulism, orange and violet shadows of me... This book is so scary sometimes full of emotions, weakness, roughness and then suddenly there comes the שמש, my very own שמש and I am happy because I am the שמש, I am.

No time under the sun.

First Thursday of February. First Thursday February afternoon and the "שמש" sipping her cinnamon tea is looking through the clouds hoping for the real sun to shine out.

El Mar

Life has to be blue like the Mediterranean.
Greeks say, the Aegean sea is like a butter - soft and still. All you have to do to close your eyes and let your body free in its waves... I dream of the sea very often and it is the only thing I will miss for ever.

What makes one appreciate the beauty of G-d's creation, what is beauty anyway?
Beauty lies in the sea, in its bluest waves, in the clearest sky, in the shiniest sun rising and setting. You sit by the sea and feel golden rays on your shoulders, on your face and keep smiling. It is burning and leaving freckles on your nose but you still sit there, smile and feel the smell of your sunburned skin... You are becoming one with the sea, the sun, the sky...

Mar Adentro is a movie by Alejandro Amenabar, Chile born director with passionate spirit and melancholic view I would say. I imagine him as one of the lonesome characters from Marquez's novels... There is one remarkable scene in the movie - flying over the green forests, mountains, rivers, feeling the horizon, breathing fresh air and achieving the "highest" point - the sea, the blue giant with most marvelous shape and colour in the world. Not only you see, but feel and realize that it is the sea inside making you move and live, it is the sea blustering in your veins, running through your blood and your heart trying to jump out the chest.

This is my sea, the sea inside me.
El Mar.
Mar adentro.

Love, Health, Tennis

I love health. I love healthy people. I love healthy food. I love healthy attitude.
The SUN is healthy. The nature is healthy. The Water is healthy.

TENNIS IS HEALTHY.

Gosh, how I adore these suntanned players with their individual characters, strength and even weaknesses. Just check out:

Rafael Nadal and Kim Clijsters

90's beauties Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova

Little Miss Sunshine: Caroline Wozniacki

Tough and rough Serena Williams

Athletic beauty Jelena Jankovich

Screamer Maria Sharapova

Last but definitely not least: Roger Federer - strong, smart, funny and true gentleman

Childhood friend

Под копни волос проникнет ли удар?
Мысль
одна под волосища вложена:
"Причесиваться? Зачем же?!
На время не стоит труда,
а вечно
причесанным быть
невозможно".

I wish I could translate this poem of Vladimir Mayakovsky in English. I used to translate some of his lyrics in Georgian when I was sophomore at university. Maybe I will one day. This one is about why combing one's hair when you can't remain combed forever... it is all about you, what's in your head. At least that's what I think Mayakovsky meant.

I have been connected to Mayakovsky since childhood - the office where my mother worked was facing his huge monument. He was standing there in the rain and sunshine with his strict face, big feet and with the cloud in his pants I guess (облако в штанах). And I was walking by him everyday after school, thinking whether it was his hat around his head or his hair. Now I believe it was the hat.
There is nothing like childhood memories, is there? Probably that's when my love to Russian poetry began and I was meant to live this life of wanderer, searching for the truth. What else is poetry than searching on and on.

Mayakovsky was born in Georgia indeed. I guess that's why he had got this bold attitude. Ok, I have this little nationalist thing about my country, but face it - Georgia is this tiny winy country caught in the middle between huge Russia and Turkey, and still lots of famous and talented people were born there, who excelled in arts, politics and etc. So there is something about the land even if you were just born there you have got passion and attitude in your bones.
If so, one may ask, why did Mayakovsky and I leave that country in the end? Perhaps we wanted to miss it more, to feel it more and to dream of it in our violet dreams.

Honestly, life is very prosaic as my mother loved to say when I was younger, and I never understood it. Life is what you make it. Life is yours, only yours. It is not about poetry or proses, it is about individuals - sunshine and thunder.
My life is not that. It is a movie :)

Fitzwilliam, you silly moody bum!

Elizabeth Bennet By Colleen Coover

One man's ways may be as good as another's, but we all like our own best.

Jane Austen

Happy Birthday, dear Jane!!! You're 235 now and I am 25, what a nice age to sit and talk about it. We could've drunk some tea and laughed about silly men.
I've been told I am like Elizabeth Bennet :/ I kinda like it and not very much at the same time. She was not an easy one, was she? With her unusual attitude, wit and irony. I am not ironic, I try not to be at least, I just can't stop being honest. And Mr. Darcy is being quite harsh on me too. He never smiles and pretends he's not looking at me whenever I turn to him. Boy. Life is so complicated and people just love to make it even more so. Don't even dare to tell me, oh, it is supposed to be that way, what did you expect? I hate that. What did I expect? Fun, Sun and Love. Didn't you?

I think this Shabbat is going to be little boring for me because of Rebekka, the friend of mine, will not be able to be there :/ I am not excited at all. I hope tomorrow will feel better, but right now listening to 'the Goo Goo Dolls' and the world feels so far away from me.
I think I am having some kind of nervous breakdown today, ain't I? Sometimes I feel that life is not fair. Not fair at all. And I am going to do something about it. I cannot sit still and wait for fate you know. I need to get up and walk like Elizabeth Bennet used to do. I need to be there where justice and truth are!

SUNDAY

It doesn't rain - just feels like it does

It's been such a lonely day, really.
I had only 2 lessons in the morning, plus german with Genia and the 2 other girls.
Then had a dinner and old apple pies, I still like them.
Midrasha is empty and dirty after Shabbat party. Girls sleep all day long.
I walk alone :| then blog, tweet/twit, facebook, skype...
I even painted the Sun on the blackboard to look at it and feel like it's warm.
Actually there was quite sunny and nice weather in Berlin today. But it's not the weather that makes the sun shine, you know :(

Litening to Chopin and feel sleepy...