Swinging in the Rain

Shalom alechem, geshem!!!

These words came out when I left Lidl and the raindrops fell on my coat. I have no umbrella, no rain boots on me, how marvelous! - I smiled to the sky.
I don't know why I talked in Hebrew to the rain, that's just what came out from my heart at that moment.

And you know what happened yesterday?

After coming home from 3 hours waiting at the doctor's office, I looked at my phone and changed the weather forecast to Tbilisi. Then I napped for hours and after waking up, I looked at my phone again (how logical of our times) and wondered, why do I have Tbilisi forecast on my screen? I don't live there anymore... and my heart quenched a bit. I missed my Tbilisi, beautiful old city of my youth. City that will always be in my heart, no matter how old I am and where I live. It's the place I was born and the place I got my heart broken in. place where I know everything. Rather I knew. It should be different now, it's been 10 years since I left. Despite speaking millions (not literally) of languages, moving in different countries and cities, my heart probably is still 20, dreaming in rainy spring Tbilisi, listening to the radio and writing away...
Thanks, Hashem for that.

Georgia's on my mind

Thanks for sending this rain to cleanse my heart and soul, Hashem. I didn't think it would rain, it was such a clean sky when I woke up. I thought it would be freezing cold with sun. But there it came - sweet geshem of mine.

I'm officially sick with sinus infection. After bringing kids to school, shopping and having such sweet conversation with rain, I made my late favourite lavender tea with lemon and put some working jazz on to go on with this swinging mood...

I've been writing only about Sanditon lately and today this rain made me feel so good, I figured, I should write about my mood too.

I turned 35 in December. I'm a wife, mother, teacher, daughter, human!!! It feels like the quarter of my life has been lived and now I am this semi-wise lady that can tell you her opinion. Not that I was ever shy to express my mind, but now being 35 gives me the right to do so even more, does it not?
But on the contrary I've been quite silent, because I don't feel like sharing my opinion that much anymore. I've got responsibilities and once you say something, you cannot swallow it back. Now that I am older and supposed to be smarter, I try to be diplomatic, and am trying to let go of my insecurities, talk less and think more.
As my old dear friend told me: everything is under control, but not your's!

So let Hashem control it, since He is the best at that. And let me have this rainy day with music and my tea, swinging little blues on my heart.

אין זמן תחת השמש

This morning slipped away from me...
Woke up and felt the non-existed sun on my shoulders.
Cinnamon tea gave my life back and I opened up the window to the world.
The world is cinnamon today.
It is like Aviv Geffen singing there is no time under the sun for wars and fights...

I had a feeling there was someone waiting for me behind the door. Someone sitting, reading and knowing I would soon wake up and smile.

It is as if I've been writing a book about myself, and this book is nothing but reminiscences of light. Do you know what I mean? The book of dreams and somnambulism, orange and violet shadows of me... This book is so scary sometimes full of emotions, weakness, roughness and then suddenly there comes the שמש, my very own שמש and I am happy because I am the שמש, I am.

No time under the sun.

First Thursday of February. First Thursday February afternoon and the "שמש" sipping her cinnamon tea is looking through the clouds hoping for the real sun to shine out.

Put the kettle on

I love this poster.
I've been thinking today if I can keep calm. I actually can only when I am sleeping. Really. Sometimes I wake up and think how nice I am when I am asleep and no crazy thoughts bug my mind. I took an afternoon nap today because did not sleep well last night, and before I fell asleep I was thinking how small I am comparing to the huge universe, all those stars and planets around. And still, I have my own world, my own place and space to dwell, to close my eyes and fade if you know what I mean.

What about putting the kettle on? Yes, we all need to drink some tea and speak about poetry as Georgian painter Niko Pirosmani would have said. Poor one. He was a drunkard all right, sold all he had got and painted, painted as much as he could. He was a primitive painter they say; he had soul I would say. Only man with soul can dream about drinking tea and talking about poetry while he is homeless, moneyless and favourite woman does not give a damn about him.

So screw the tea, crash the kettle, be emotional, do not mind being embarrassed. Life is too short for tea, we should all be drinking wine and making love. Well, this approach does not belong to Niko Pirosmani definitely, it is damn Greek philosophy ruling over the world.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I am this mixture of body and soul, loving tea and wine at the same time, admiring poetry and love, embarrassing herself often but feeling happy because this is me, this is my life and I love it. Even when I am not calm and don't put the kettle on, you know.

Good Night You All!

G-d's movie

Sometimes we think that we did not deserve all the hard things we got into. We think we are much better than G-d can see us we are. That is how we become stressed, empty and lonely.

Today I miss my friends so much. I even wrote an e-mail to Tea and Chili. Skyped Dina and listened to her Israel trip story. And missed them even more.

I've been missing my dear people for all my life, really. Most of them have been living far from me and we just grow up without seeing each other; things happen - we cry, we laugh, we love, we do not love, we feel solitude, we have fun... and all this goes being far apart.

I wrote to Tea that we hardly and seldom understand life. We call it life and it's just G-d's movie where we play our very roles - some good and some bad, but the end is always depended on director's will.

ANTIBIOTICS against all stupid viruses

I just like this picture of cherokees, don't you?

It's not difficult to drive world crazy, is it?
All these viruses, flus spread in the world so fast you can't even notice.
Our teacher Olga keeps reminding us to wash hands everytime we can, open windows and let fresh air in, drink as much liquid as possible, eat garlic and lemon.

I've never feared any viruses or stuff, but today it was too much for me. Everyone smells of garlic, people stay away from hugging and the world is rushing up and down. I don't care if my phrases are not correct whatsoever =)) I'm just having fun while posting you know that.

So, now I'm having huge cup of hot water with honey and lemon juice inside. Plus I've already washed my hands 30 times :| haven't hugged anyone for ages. Ok, I can't eat garlic even if I die and swine kicks me off, G-d forbid. So, I'd rather go and have a walk - that's my antibiotic for anything from nervous breakdown to the flu ;))

I hope we'll get over it and be healthy like buffalos (as old georgian saying goes).