Waiting For Winter

I hate Autumn.

Can't wait for Winter, really.

This cunning mild weather kills me. I love when it's Summer and hot, or Winter and freezing. I hate in-between stuff, you know.

Snow, come soon, love!!!

A Month

I am so nervous right now.
I am so anxious.
I am so terrified.

19th of May means it is a month to go...

And I miss my fiance so much, it gets harder and harder to live apart.
The weather is stupid as usual - it started to rain then the sun showed up, I wanted to go to sleep meanwhile but now I think I'd better go and get things done.

Georgian consulate is not answering my calls which drives me mad and I probably will go there on Monday without an appointment at all. These government offices are so disturbing, aren't they? Have you ever seen any official representative of the country that would welcome and help you? I have not. Never indeed. And it is not just Georgia, no, my Israeli friends also complain about that, so do others.
It does not comfort me though.
I wanted some paper to be done soon.

I feel so tired, sleepless; my head aches, back aches, eyes ache, stomach aches and I think everything is getting on my nerves, even those things not connected to my body.

Oh, in addition with that I got James Joyce's "Ulysses" and I intend to read it soon. How soon, that is the question :D

Drew Barrymore has got new boyfriend, have I told you that? He's ok. I still prefer Justin Long to him but as long as Drew's happy I am happy. I actually wish I could invite her on my wedding. Wouldn't it be swell?
Anyway.

Drew and Will Kopelman

I am going to be a married woman in a month who will have to take care of her husband, household; one to make home most warm and peaceful place. It is so exciting and little frightening as well because it is something new and unknown, but as my fiance would've said, everyone goes through this and so will we.

go

Feeling so sleepy and tired.
Weather is just what one may ask for a day like this: rainy, moody, grey... go to sleep, something is whispering in my ears... go and dive into your violet dreams... go and catch some stars above... go and swim upstream the river of your subconscious... go, go, go!

Yellow soph_marine

Yellow is the colour of my attitude not only today - sunny, bright and full of fun. No matter what is going on in my life I always try to find a positive thing about it. What else can I do anyway? Sit and cry my eyes out? NO!!! I am not that kind of girl depressing herself, I can be sad and low but as long as I see the sun through clouds I know there is always something to hold on.

Yesterday my day was not this yellow though: it was more lilac, let me put it this way. It was more like a surreal movie shot in one room and still much meaningful than it could have been in some open area. It was intense, hard to control or be completely natural - in the end of the day I felt like I had taken part in some psychological experiment where you are allowed to watch rare dessert and not touch while you are so damn hungry. Now I think how strong one still can be and capable to control oneself. I mean, it is the best thing you realize afterwards - there is nothing like working on yourself and being able to remain faithful to your principles.
That's why I love life because it sets so many challenges to me.

It is so sunny in Berlin I can go mad :) And I am wearing my yellow sweater and tights shining in and out the midrasha swaying to the Lambada rhythms and feeling unbelievable spiritual freedom. I wish I knew what I mean by this SPIRITUAL FREEDOM, I can just feel it.

Have a great yellow week full of Sunshine in your heart and mind!!!

Monday chicken

Who said that French is the language of love? It is Greek - language of έρωτα. Language to tell sweet things to your dear people. No other language expresses love more than this one. Who would tell you that: You are "αναπνοή μου" (my breath) or "ψυχή μου" (my soul)?

I found this blog the other day and fell in love immediately. I love the way she writes (I believe it is she) and shares her thoughts to the world. You may have no idea how inspiring it is to know that there is someone little bit like you, who likes the Gotan Project, poetry and has been collecting emotions since she was a kid: "...από παιδάκι μαζεύω, μαζεύω,".

One and only Romy Schneider

How is my "sunny funny witty" life?

• I had a dream last night that I was Romy Schneider trying to catch the train. My dreams are so semi-fictional.
• Before I went to sleep Lea called me from Israel, my old sweet Georgian friend. So nice when you receive calls like that. And after talking to her I could not sleep for hours. I hope she will be fine and all her dreams come true.
• The midrasha has started today officially - still lots of girls haven't come back yet.
• Weather is ok which means not very cold for Berlin.
• I hurt my foot, don't know how though - one good reason to feel emotional and cry my heart out. Moonlight is over me I guess.
• Had chicken for dinner, most tasteless chicken I have ever eaten. I think she used to be the vegan chicken really, did not taste like meat at all. I mean very sensitive chicken.

I guess I hate Mondays. They make me feel so sad. New working week has started and all I want to do is to smell the sea, see the sun and drink the juice of mango. Or hide under the blanket and sleep like a baby bear until it is Summer and the light warms me up.

Week full of fun and love

Last week has been really awesome. We had rabbi Osher Baddiel from England visiting and giving shiurim. He's this really funny and so-english-teacher type of man in his middle 70's I suppose. When you see him at first you think that he's come from 18th century, but after hearing him speak you know that you can talk to him about anything you wish. I liked him even though I could not really follow some of his jokes. He's going to be our guest tonight on the first Seuda of Shabbat and I'm sure we won't get bored ;)

Weather is as bad as it can be: cloudy and dull.

I have a wonderful new room-mate, she's got amazing orange colored hair and lovely freckles all over her face and hands. She's from Odessa, one of my favourite cities in the world. She's the kindest and well brought person I've ever met. I love her.

What else? Oh, every Thursday evening midrasha girls go to different families of the community to help them prepare for Shabbat. As usual I go to Rosh Yeshiva, rabbi Smith's house. Smiths are just lovely people, they have two little girls (5 and 3) and they just had a baby boy 12 days ago, I even attended his Brit Milah ceremony on last Monday which was really special.
Yesterday I helped rebetzin Smith to bathe the girls and then held newborn in my arms, gosh, it was just amazing. He smelled so sweet and looked around with big babyish eyes :) I had never actually held a baby of his age [age? 12 days]. It's a miracle when you see little human being, isn't it? IT IS, INDEED! It is especially miracle for his parents because they did not have children for a long time and now they have three wonderful kids, may Hashem bless them! I love them all so much.

This week is going to be over soon and new one will start. I am happy for having this opportunity be here in Berlin, live in midrasha with the girls, have such amazing teachers and people around. Thank G-d!

Have a wonderful and sunny Shabbat! I hope I will.

SHABBAT SHALOM!

Back in Berlin

I'm back in Berlin after four long months waiting for the visa. I had quite crazy flight through Kiev and it is most mixed airport I've ever seen. Different people are around, talking and laughing and in the end of the day you may go crazy. I admire people working and handling them all the time. I also admire other people like teachers and public workers, who work with lots of people. I definitely have to mention rebetzin Julia Rosenblat too, whose house is always full of people and I always think that she just does not have time or space to be alone, and that makes me appreciate her even more. I'm just learning to cope with people :lol: And midrasha is good for me actually, I meet people, talk with them, share rooms and I develop more social character to say so.

Weather is just great in Berlin - sunny and quite warm. I am glad because Autumn Berlin was terrible - gray and cold. Oh, and Shabbat is so soon - you have no idea how happy I am for it. I am going to have real MEAT for dinner :D For person who has hardly eaten any meat for four months, that is pure heaven.
HAVE A GREAT SABBATH! Have a good week end!

SUNDAY

It doesn't rain - just feels like it does

It's been such a lonely day, really.
I had only 2 lessons in the morning, plus german with Genia and the 2 other girls.
Then had a dinner and old apple pies, I still like them.
Midrasha is empty and dirty after Shabbat party. Girls sleep all day long.
I walk alone :| then blog, tweet/twit, facebook, skype...
I even painted the Sun on the blackboard to look at it and feel like it's warm.
Actually there was quite sunny and nice weather in Berlin today. But it's not the weather that makes the sun shine, you know :(

Litening to Chopin and feel sleepy...

First lecture

Today winter zman began.
And I missed morning lectures, because I walked Naomi's sister to the dentist. So we spent all day waiting for her dentist, walked in freezing weather and got home at 3:30 pm.

But Baruch Hashem I attended evening lectures. Olga and rabbi Fabian were fabulous, but Leah's one was just amazing. She told us about Adam's 2 natures; we read weekly chapter of the Torah and analyzed it. So interesting and so many things to see and think. I just loved it.

It's like as it is in real life - one's nature, one's difficulties, achievement, laughter and tears, high and low. I think Adam - was not a one man, but whole mankind so to speak with all its nature and understanding. I think we haven't changed since then, have we?

P.S. I love Leah, she's loveliest madricha I've met lately.