Little before Rosh Hashanah

It's month of Elul for us, less than 10 days left before Rosh Hashanah and the judgment day - doesn't it sound scary?
It is indeed.

I've been thinking and analysing things so much lately. Millions of bees have been buzzing in my brain (if it's a correct way to express my state of mind) and asking so many questions I couldn't answer.
The month before Rosh Hashana is supposed to be the time for meditation, changing one's character traits and shortcomings that one knows should be changed. It's time to think more and talk less.
I don't have much time for thinking because I'm mum, you know, of the 16 months old energetic boy who needs my attention all the time.
But I also know that it doesn't mean I can slip away from Elul having those reasons mentioned above. I don't want either - I want to change myself and move forward as a better person.

Sometimes I have a feeling that everything is illusion though.
Everything, especially religion.
Just look into their philosophies - starting from my very own Judaism and finishing with most modern religions - don't they all have same content?
Don't most of their authorities brainwash the mass conscious?
Don't most of them ignore women?
And in the end everyone is expecting Messiah, which gets so annoying, I wish I could ask G-d, what's all that for? Are we just puppets? Why are we so weak that can't make it without Messiah who should come and do the work for us?

I have one favourite rabbi (I have VERY few of them) Osher Baddiel - great old English man emigrated from Germany before the WWII. He gave shiurim to us couple of times in the midrasha and talked a lot about Mashiach/Messiah that is to come and redeem us all. Rav Baddiel was little sarcastic, but brilliantly explained that no-one's coming to redeem us like we expect: nobody will come and bring heaven on Earth. Messiah isn't/won't be son* of G-d, that's for sure (since we're all G-d's children in general) and he won't be walking on a water... he won't do the work for us either, he said. G-d has created this world in a way that we should sweat working and overcome obstacles before us.
In short, redeemer is mostly in us - it's our soul, our willpower and our desire to work on ourselves, help others and live according to Torah.

I absolutely loved Rav Baddiel's points of view, although he made sure that Mashiach definitely will come, as it's promised, but not in a way most people believe.

Yes.
Older I get less I believe in changing the world while I can't even change myself (do I really try?). Little Elul is left and I hope to get some strength and time to have meaningful Rosh Hashanah.
Or just let Mashiach come, and soon, please!


*with all respect to my Christian readers - this doesn't mean to reassure or upset you. We all should believe in what or who we believe in. Diversity is beautiful.

Follow your dreams

by Victoria Usova

You know how I define great people? By the way they treat other people. I have heard that beside great ones you feel as great too, but beside low people you feel low and depressed because they make you feel like nothing.

So I've always been striving to be with great people and learn life lessons from them. What I learned is that: you should love your fellow, you should love people and never hurt anyone's feelings.

• Do you remember my sweet Rebetzin Roberg? Well, she told us to keep dreaming because they DO come true.
• Then Rabbi Spinner advised us to set a goal every year and work on its achievement.

I dream and have goals. Most of my dreams have come true as you know: I live with my people and have wonderful time, I've been to Venice - my dream place... plus I had set a goal to learn Rashi letters by the end of this semester. So I did.

I'm following my dreams.

Shabbat Shalom!

Week full of fun and love

Last week has been really awesome. We had rabbi Osher Baddiel from England visiting and giving shiurim. He's this really funny and so-english-teacher type of man in his middle 70's I suppose. When you see him at first you think that he's come from 18th century, but after hearing him speak you know that you can talk to him about anything you wish. I liked him even though I could not really follow some of his jokes. He's going to be our guest tonight on the first Seuda of Shabbat and I'm sure we won't get bored ;)

Weather is as bad as it can be: cloudy and dull.

I have a wonderful new room-mate, she's got amazing orange colored hair and lovely freckles all over her face and hands. She's from Odessa, one of my favourite cities in the world. She's the kindest and well brought person I've ever met. I love her.

What else? Oh, every Thursday evening midrasha girls go to different families of the community to help them prepare for Shabbat. As usual I go to Rosh Yeshiva, rabbi Smith's house. Smiths are just lovely people, they have two little girls (5 and 3) and they just had a baby boy 12 days ago, I even attended his Brit Milah ceremony on last Monday which was really special.
Yesterday I helped rebetzin Smith to bathe the girls and then held newborn in my arms, gosh, it was just amazing. He smelled so sweet and looked around with big babyish eyes :) I had never actually held a baby of his age [age? 12 days]. It's a miracle when you see little human being, isn't it? IT IS, INDEED! It is especially miracle for his parents because they did not have children for a long time and now they have three wonderful kids, may Hashem bless them! I love them all so much.

This week is going to be over soon and new one will start. I am happy for having this opportunity be here in Berlin, live in midrasha with the girls, have such amazing teachers and people around. Thank G-d!

Have a wonderful and sunny Shabbat! I hope I will.

SHABBAT SHALOM!

Potato Kugel :yay:

It's been quite a week as they say.
I learned a lot. Now I have to settle all my knowledge and information to analyze and think.
I begin to like Midrasha. I got to know with girls better and they're fine.

My aunt's health is much better as Lilu told me yesterday, Baruch Hashem. I'm so happy my prayers were heard.

Oh, and by the way :lol: not by the way, it's pretty serious story of me that happened yesterday :D every Thursday evening (or Friday morning) midrasha girls go to different families and help them cook Shabbat meals or babysit. So I went to the Smiths'. Rabbi Smith is Rosh Yeshiva of the Yeshiva in East Berlin as a matter of fact, so I felt quite honored to be in his house. Rebetzin Chaya is a wonderful woman and they have two adorable children. So she asked me to make potato kugel. Well, did I mention that I've never cooked any kugel in my life? Instead of 1/2 cup of oil I poured 2 cups and probably would have added more if Chaya did not stop me. I was so embarrassed, boy! Anyway, kugel-like-thing was done.
Her children did not want me to leave, so I had to tell them it was very late (09:10pm) and I was going to sleep too. Then rebetzin gave me cake and I left. On the way to midrasha I kept pinching myself:
'Me': Sophie, this lovely family who seldom asks midrasha girls to help them, called and trusted you their kugel; and what did you do?
'Sophie': I made the oiliest kugel in the world :|

Then I realized that it's not that big deal. Maybe kugel became tastier, huh? Whatever it might be, I learned a good lesson, how difficult it is to manage 2 children who try to "help you out" and make kugel with you, in addition with that you have to be patient, smily and good cook.
I hope to learn and be a good woman. I really really do.

Shabbat Shalom!

One Soul

I have a task for Sunday. Madricha Leah asked me to write a speech, which I'll say during the dinner for the girls.

I wrote it already and want to share it with you:

'One Soul'

There is this story written by the brother of the chief rabbi of Georgia, Meir Levin. Story is called 'One soul' and author talks about his life, how he moved to Israel at his late forties and began studying Torah. He had a chavrusa from Chabad; so everyday he used to go to that man and learn. One day when they finished studies and Meir Levin was about to leave, the Chabad man stopped him and said: 'You are such a good learner of Torah, even though you are litvak and I'm from Chabad, I can see we have got one soul.'

After reading this story I thought a lot.
Then we went to Antwerp and I had a chance to meet different people - chasids, litvaks, georgian jews who have kept their tradition for ages, and realized - no matter who we are - ashkenazi or sephard, where we are from, how educated and how wealthy we can be - we all have one soul, One Jewish Soul given by the Almighty G-d.

This is what I wrote and will read on Sunday to the midrasha girls. I hope they will like it. I changed some scenes in this story, but main idea is the same.

Happy holidays to you all!

SUNNY weather in Berlin

It's such a lovely weather in Berlin, I should get dressed and go out to take some walk. I love walking and taking pictures.

It's been almost a week since I've arrived in Berlin. It's beautiful city, people are nice, though little cold for me, but I can handle it with Hashem's help.

I've got this really nice novel by Meir Levin, brother of the chief rabbi of Georgia Ariel Levin "Tefillin". I hope you'll like it too.

"Tefillin"

By Meir Levin

Translation by Shaul Gorgel

"Every Jew has a share in the world to come"

Tractate "Sanhedrin", ch.11

This one's been my first ever written and published short story. I thought it up on Saturday. Most of the facts were a work of fiction. A year on, a woman who was born in Tbilisi (the capital city of Georgia) rang me. She thanked me, as she was weeping, and told me that she'd heard the story from her father. I must've got it all wrong: indeed her father's name was David, but the surname was Kriheli and the policeman's name was Tzeitlin. Still, I left the surname as is. After all, didn't Jews do a whole lot of good things and their names cannot be altered for this very reason.

The story I'm about to tell you took place several decades ago in one of provincial townships in Southern Russia. Its chief landmark is a factory of building blocks. Building blocks were in short supply back then. Naturally, the only hotel in town always hosted dozens of sneaky characters - supply agents, otherwise known as "go-getters". Their favourite line was "Every paper needs a pair of feet 'cos it doesn't move around on its own". That was why all the workers at the building blocks factory as well as the local railway station fed off the supply agents - cash and booze. Still more, they received handouts too. All that the former Soviet Union had to offer: caviar from the city of Astrakhan, bottles of Georgian and Armenian cognac, honey from Bashkir republic... factory workers had it all.

David Abramovitch Adjiashvili was a gifted supply man. He lost his father early in his childhood and, as a Jew, David knew that in life you get what you pay for. He never learned Russian well, even after years spent working there, but no one could handle the marketing department of the factory better than he could. When necessary, he knew how to have a drink with the right man and inquire about his wife's well being at the most appropriate time. He could also be most charming when need be. David's superiors valued him a great deal and he was becoming increasingly well-to-do. He had a good house and his daughters, Lali and Tzitzino, were "helped" into a prestigious state medical school.

The only discomfiture was that the city council had recently reshuffled, so that local police started digging. David's operations became very risky because, apart from legal supplies, he was sending to Georgia so called "hot" merchandise, simply put, stolen. He would say to himself: "this is the last time I'm doing this".

One day, as he was sending some loaded freight cars on their way, two plain clothed men approached him. They flashed their police badges and asked him to come along. He was cursing himself vigourously for agreeing to come here despite his wife's pleas not to. Yet he had no choice but to come along to the police quarters. Chances of him being released soon were not lost altogether. David knew his associates on the outside would do everything to get him out. However, what complicated the matters was that they did not know what he was arrested for.

All he had to do now was to be quiet and give up nobody. "Make like an idiot, like you do not understand a word in Russian and cry your eyes out, he repeated to himself, otherwise, the "associates" will find a way to keep his mouth shut". A rogue blade or some other "sharp tool" in a detention cell, execution at a framed escape attempt, et cetera. Besides, if nothing works, G-d forbid, the cronies will help out his family. The family was for David the holiest. For truth's sake, working as a supply agent in Russia sometimes meant he could do some "fooling around". But back in Tebilissi, he would not look at other women.

He was led into a cell. An interrogator entered. "What a thug!", thought David. The interrogator began to examine his personal articles. First thing, he brought out some kind of purse, unzipped it and then raised his eyebrows in astonishment.

-What are these boxes? - he demanded - never seen anything like this! Must be they have foreign currency or papers in them. Ivanov, - he called to a policeman - get a hammer. Let's see what those Georgian bozoes have come up with.

It must have only been this Torah ordained commandment of tefillin that still connected David with his Jewishness. His late father had given him this pair of tefillin for his Bar-Mitzva and said: "Son, put these on every morning if you want your life full of blessing". Realising that this Russian's hands would now start breaking his father's present, he leaped up and shouted out with Russian and Georgian words intermixed: "Officer, officer, I'm Jewish, this is only tefillin! I put them on every morning and I swear by Lali and Tzitzino there's nothing in it!" He forgot that the officer did not know who Lali and Tzitzino were.

-Officer, don't touch the tefillin - he was crying now, - I'll come clean on everything.

The interrogator put to the side the tefillin purse. Presently, he sat over by a typewrite and was busy typing up some kind of letter.

-Ivanov! - he called - take this letter to the district prosecutor, at once.

Having waited till Ivanov left, the interrogator opened up a cell door and let David out. He said to him: "If you don't come back in two hours, I'll be in a big trouble".

David flagged down a cab and he was in a suite with his friends in twenty minutes.

-How much did you pay them? - the friends asked David.

He did not reply. Immediately, people were dispatched to the factory and the train station. There, they used the information obtained from David to fix all the paperwork necessary. The "hot" cargo turned "cool". David was back in his cell on time. The following morning he was set free and even received an apology. In one month, David returned to town, sought out the interrogator and brought him gifts: wine, cash and even some diamonds. However, the interrogater refused to accept any of them.

-You see, he said, I'm not clean. Sometimes I helped people out and took gifts for that, but this time round it was a whole different thing. I didn't do it just for you. I did it for a Jew, because you're Jewish. And now you should leave".

Soon afterwards, David and his wife left for Israel. There, he would tell his friends this story pointing out: "Listen, still I don't get it why he never took the cash. Must be them Russian Jews real righteous men!".

I wish I could round up this story on a brighter note, that David's children or grand children are all learning in the Yeshiva, and are married to the interrogator's children and grand children, and that the wedding was joyful and all felt good and happy. But in real life things aren't that simple, and I don't know how everything ended up. Too bad I'm not a prophet and I can't finish this story with an exclamation: "The chief police interrogator, comrade Rabinovitch and David Adjiashvili have a share in the world to come".

My Rosh Hashanah

I had a perfect Rosh Hashanah.
But I don't like writing about formal stuff, because there were wise men who had written that better than me. So let me write about people - people that I meet, who amaze me and make me improve myself.

Every time I go to the Rosenblatt family I know I would have swell time - rabbi's wife Julia is so smart, funny and talkative, she knows lots of interesting stories, jokes, and she makes you feel really comfortable at her house. Rabbi Avimelech has such deep and thoughtful eyes that he doesn't even have to say a word - he is wisest person I've ever met. At first I used to be little afraid of him really, but after all those Shabbats and Passover I got to know him better and now I know that he's a normal man, just wiser than others.

Everything was great.

And there was Yael. She's a 23 year old tourist from Israel, who wanted to stay at the family on Rosh Hashanah, so she came to the Rosenblatt's. I've met many people, have met Israeli tourists and love to talk to them, but in the end it's always plain to see - we are different in some ways, had been raised in different countries, different social atmosphere. Not Yael though. We got close from the beginning, because she knew how to listen, how to talk and above it all - she has these big bright brown eyes where you can see your reflection. Believe me, you can't see that in every eyes. I met Yael just three times, but she made my Rosh Hashanah totally. With her modesty and kindness she showed me that there is something more than good looks and luxurious things - what really really matters? - When person is kind and thinks about others, makes others days, improves them and shows this world in better shape. I hope Yael liked me too and she could learn from me as much as I did from her.

May we have sweetest and happiest year!!!