My Best Self

It's about Sanditon again. It's about Charlotte Heywood played by talented Rose Williams. She is like a lone shining star in that film - one pure and beautiful soul who suddenly happened to visit Sanditon and changed many things including herself.

And myself.

This film made a major impact on me, it made me think and rethink about many things. I've realised I need to express myself, to write, to listen to music, to keep on shining!!! Keep on! 

I am so young damn it! I am.

Really, I looked in the mirror the other day and I saw the same Sophie looking at me (ok, little bit changed), smiling and full of hopes and dreams. Although all of my hopes and dreams are now around my family, I should remember there is ME too, you know what I mean?

"I am my best self, my truest self, when I am with you!"

Charlotte and Sidney made me accept my vulnerability. 

They made me feel young again, however ridiculous it might sound to you. I feel like I've been swimming in ocean for ages and now I got to breathe some fresh air. 

Now I've got to look at myself in the mirror again and say: Sophie, I like you! But you must be your best self, your truest self to feel good about you too!

Yellow soph_marine

Yellow is the colour of my attitude not only today - sunny, bright and full of fun. No matter what is going on in my life I always try to find a positive thing about it. What else can I do anyway? Sit and cry my eyes out? NO!!! I am not that kind of girl depressing herself, I can be sad and low but as long as I see the sun through clouds I know there is always something to hold on.

Yesterday my day was not this yellow though: it was more lilac, let me put it this way. It was more like a surreal movie shot in one room and still much meaningful than it could have been in some open area. It was intense, hard to control or be completely natural - in the end of the day I felt like I had taken part in some psychological experiment where you are allowed to watch rare dessert and not touch while you are so damn hungry. Now I think how strong one still can be and capable to control oneself. I mean, it is the best thing you realize afterwards - there is nothing like working on yourself and being able to remain faithful to your principles.
That's why I love life because it sets so many challenges to me.

It is so sunny in Berlin I can go mad :) And I am wearing my yellow sweater and tights shining in and out the midrasha swaying to the Lambada rhythms and feeling unbelievable spiritual freedom. I wish I knew what I mean by this SPIRITUAL FREEDOM, I can just feel it.

Have a great yellow week full of Sunshine in your heart and mind!!!

Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind

No doubt this movie is special because Drew Barrymore stars in it and who cares if George Clooney has directed it and it is based on memoirs of the CIA hitman. Sam Rockwell is also someone who can rock one's boat, but not mine. I have never been into guys like him - blondish showmen, you know.


Drew's character Penny is really something I'd like to talk about. It's unbelievable there is so much common between us. She is funny, loves to laugh and says witty phrases all the time; plus has this loyal character which made her to be very committed to Chuck (Rockwell's character); she believes in him and supports him. Penny is also searching and loves adventures, she changes her attitude from 50's woman to the 60's hippie flower child, then again 70's elegant lady. But by the end of the day she's just a woman who needs to be treated gently and be loved madly.

All right, I vote this movie 6/10 because there are lots of violence scenes which have never impressed me. The actors performance is quite distinguished and interesting. You can't take away the talent of George Clooney who definitely knows how to make movies. I also liked the atmosphere of the time period, plus Drew and Sam have also this weird chemistry between them after "Charlie's Angels" which makes you like them more and more.
One more reason to wonder what is this chemistry all about? You know what I mean? Sometimes you just click on someone and feel that you've got it right.
I actually know the reason of the chemistry thing; it definitely comes from one's childhood, education and other social issues. Although no social issues can have impact on a person without specific circumstances which happen purposely even if you don't think about it.
I know because I am living this "specific circumstance" right now.
I have got pretty 'dangerous' mind, haven't I? :)

Have a nice time watching the "Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind" and falling in love with Drew's sweet strawberry smile (Sam Rockwell's kinda hot too).

Love, Health, Tennis

I love health. I love healthy people. I love healthy food. I love healthy attitude.
The SUN is healthy. The nature is healthy. The Water is healthy.

TENNIS IS HEALTHY.

Gosh, how I adore these suntanned players with their individual characters, strength and even weaknesses. Just check out:

Rafael Nadal and Kim Clijsters

90's beauties Martina Hingis and Anna Kournikova

Little Miss Sunshine: Caroline Wozniacki

Tough and rough Serena Williams

Athletic beauty Jelena Jankovich

Screamer Maria Sharapova

Last but definitely not least: Roger Federer - strong, smart, funny and true gentleman

If only

"If I survive this Winter,
If only the wind lets me live" - this is my translation of the famous Georgian poet's lines. I think it is absolutely about me. German winter is too long for my sunny soul. You know I am so fond of walking, but how can I walk in this cold? Having sore nose and coughing forever I guess. I dream about the Spring - warm rays of the sun, green leaves on the trees, putting away the winter coat, boots and run to embrace the new season.
Merde! I am such a drama queen who is rather good comedian if you know what I mean.
No Spring two more months at least, Soph.

Drop the Winter.
Today when rebbetzin Ziskind from England gave a shiur I realized that people are so stupid. So am I sometimes. We have absolutely wrong attitudes - we label things, we label people, we label everything we can. It is kind of funny that I have mentioned ATTITUDE in my last update too and today's shiur was also about attitude. It is so important you know - how you look at things and how you look at yourself too. Well, I looked at myself today and said: Hey, you, sunny, funny, witty one, just stop and enjoy life! Because life is much more than you think - it is hard and sweet at the same time; you are surrounded by lovely and caring people; you have all you need so far. You just love troubling yourself, worrying and crying your heart out. Relax!
Yes, sometimes I can be really nutty and it even helps.

So - I will definitely survive this Winter. I am going to have good attitude about everything.

שבוע טוב!!!

CHLOE

I love Chloe Sevigny.
She has this unexplainable beauty - face, eyes, nose and attitude. I love her roles in 'If these walls could talk 2', 'Broken glass', 'Boys don't cry' and many more. She's got this androgynous-kinda-attitude, which attracts you, doesn't it?

With Michelle Williams

Left to right: Macauley Culcin, ..., Chloe Sevigny, Natasha Lyonne