6 months and more

Ezra used to be a good sleeper even though he was colicky for almost 4 months in the beginning. He would still sleep from 7:30 till 1 am, then I nursed him and put him back in his bed. Then he woke up between 3-5am to eat and I let him sleep with me till morning. 
Now it's been already a month he refuses to sleep in his bed at night. I try so hard. He may fall asleep there for half an hour, then wakes up crying and wouldn't stop before I rock him and put him in my bed where I also should lay down beside him and soothe him.

via

I don't know what can be the reason?
It might be that he's growing and changing so quickly becoming a big boy. So he might be afraid of staying alone and needs his mummy to warm and comfort him. I love to do so, but it is so hard sometimes when I have loads to do and have to leave it all and lay down with the baby. I hope he grows out of it and come on, how long is he going to be a baby? Time flies, as they say and I will miss him as a baby one day, I am sure.
Most probably he's teething and I just don't realize it. Can't wait to wake up one day and see his little cute tooth already.

What's important, he's happy baby. Smiling and singing all day. It's so funny hearing him say: ma ma, ba ba, amba, bamba... He rolls from his tummy on the back, although he is so lazy and I make him roll from back on the tummy. Sometimes he surprises me too - when I least expect him to roll or crawl, he actually does. He tried to crawl on Friday and I was so excited, I started to shout with joy to my husband who was in the bathroom and Ezra got really scared. I felt so bad then, what if I discouraged him about crawling. I hope I didn't.

I haven't told you I started to give him solids. We started last Wednesday with carrot puree and Ezra really liked it. I thought he couldn't eat since he's been only nursed for whole 6 months, but he managed it quite well, thank G-d. I started with 3 spoons. Our doctor said 4-6 spoons, but I was little afraid that it might have been difficult for his stomach, but it went well. Hopefully I'll give him some new vegetable this week, been thinking about zucchini; they give potatoes in Germany because this is most popular food here. It's going to be either zucchini or potatoes, we'll see. I really can't wait to give him meat. I am so fond of beef you know, I am very big lover of meat, in general and hope so will be Ezra (my husband is a total Yiddishe guy, he loves chicken and turkey that we have discovered lately and I make really delicious turkey something for Shabbat evening, should give you recipe later).

Sometimes, when I am really tired and just can't take anymore, I remind myself how cute Ezra usually is, smily and funny, and that he is my baby, gift from G-d. Plus, I am mother and HAVE TO take care of my baby, so what if I get tired? Every mum does. That's what makes mums special - being tired and sleep deprived all the time, still happy and proud of their offspring.

All about it

I wish I could wake up and see the face I have dreamed about last night.
I wish I had a daisy field.
I wish I were a little wild girl with golden hair running through that very daisy field.
I wish I were somewhere warm and sunny.

Then I realize it is not about where you are, who you are or what you have been dreaming about - it is all about your heart. It is all about your soul; about your shining face and sad eyes. It is always about one's heart and mind.
Dear friend of mine told me that I often say very HIGH things which make one nervous, but I cannot help - I feel that way. Sometimes I feel so HIGH spiritually that I am to explode with this belief and trust to Almighty. Really.

[Missing my youngest aunt. Woke up and remembered about her today. She is so cool and understanding, I wish I could talk to her more, to sit there with her knowing she could just listen and tell me softly whatever is good.]

All I really wish is happiness and health for me and my offspring (whenever I'll have'em)!!!
Nothing else matters. Absolutely nothing.

Sugar

I adore this very scene from the "Some like it hot" when Marilyn's wishing Daphne good night saying: Good Night, HONEY!!! She pronounces HONEY so sweetly, I want to be her really. Oh, Marilyn, how adorable and sensual you were!!!

Good night, Honey!..

Blue-eyed Uncle

Last night was THE night. I went to sleep at 7 pm. Then woke up at 12 I guess when year 2011 was about to enter the world. Heard those crazy fireworks but did not even bother to get up and look out the window.

After that tried to sleep but could not for hours. I suddenly recalled all my extraordinary uncles and aunts. I have an amazing uncle really. The youngest brother of my mother. He is not quite young, he's 50 but very cool. One friend reminded me about Ping Pong game and that is why I remembered him probably. I used to play ping pong with him, and I actually always won, then he would smile with his blue eyes and say: Soph, I'll be lucky in love though. I am telling you he's funny. What love? He has grown up sons and beautiful wife. Anyway he is always eager for love I guess. I mean he does everything with his heart and soul. Sometimes I think that my crazy sense of humour is all from him. Plus he looks like my mother very much - with his big blue eyes and lovely smile, and humour just like me: you never know when he jokes and when he really means it.

I guess I felt little loneliness last night that is why I tried to escape in my adolescence and thought about my family. I have been very independent since I was little kid with reddish hair, everyone would ask my opinion and then I just grew out from all of them. I decided to live different life of a religious Jew. And left them behind. Now when I imagine that I cannot eat my uncle's fried potatoes or I need to check how he makes yogurt, it hurts me a bit.

Then I realize that it is just childhood I miss, you know, when I was this wild girl running and laughing her guts out hoping she would become someone really great. It is crazy to put such ideas into little girl's head that she should be someone great when she grows up no matter what. And what if this girl does not want to be someone great at all but just be a sweet wife and mother. Is it too old fashioned? I know people who think so.

You know what my uncle told me once? That I will be great in anything I do even if I just smile and make someone's day. He himself is crazy, funny and sometimes blue too, but he always knows how to cheer me up and make me feel good about myself. I think this is the point when you understand that someone really loves you - makes you feel good about yourself and inspires you to become even better.

Looking into the dark

Looking out the window today I realized that I am afraid
Afraid of something I am not.
Not what others want me to
To be supersmart.
Supersmart who is so tired of people looking.
Looking into the dark and seeing the same face
Face that is getting old day by day.
Days change into the nights
Nights were never my favourite.

I thought I could not write anymore.
Thank G-d I can.

(Ane Brun on the photo)

Night Radio Voice

I have a new favourite actress - Romola Garai. I've always liked her, but in this movie "Glorious 39" she was wonderful. Even though the end of the movie was quite unfit. It's a quiet British movie with good actors in it: Bill Nighy, Julie Christie, Jeremy Northam (my old love). I don't know whether director or script writer went wrong because I was expecting more action, more reality and suddenly movie was over. But I have to admit that costumes were perfect, nature was beautiful (that's G-d) and actors played quite all right.


Romola - she has this big blue (or grey) eyes looking into the camera and making you feel like you've known her forever. Also her low voice is very charming and it's one of the best parts when she reads books for her father. Listening to her I once more missed radio. She has typical night radio voice for intellectuals if you know what I mean.


To resume, British movies have some kind of charm that no other movies have. I love French movies, but still can't compare with English ones. There's something about their accent and the way they talk, walk, smile, cry... I just love it.


Here is the link of "Glorious 39" for Georgian readers.
7/10

All about winter nights, Holden C & Drew B

I just can't go to bed withouth posting anything here.
It's been a long day.
Actually day's not long, but night damn is.
I woke up at 08:30 am & felt like have slept for ages. That's why I like winter, night is always long and you can dream on without feeling guilty that you overslept or as it is.

Been searching for some interesting blogs. Found something, but I'm too sleepy to read now.
It's about Holden Caulfield.

DREW BARRYMORE

When I started to blog this very post, I meant to write about Drew Barrymore (but some like change subjects) - how inspiring she has been for me. I admire her courage, her wits and smile - always sunny. She's been through so much - drugs, alcohol, depression, and here she is - fresh, successful and recovered. I would have loved her either ways. Wanted to tell you that quote of hers I read the other day, but I have forgotten. She was talking about being risky and not to be scared of being embarrassed.
Can't say same about risks, but I've never backed off of getting embarrassed. Who cares as long as you feel "rufalicious"! :) Gotta see her movies (e.g. Never been kissed).
So, thank you Drew for being my muse and inspiration for life.
Thanks internet for being the engine of my inspirations.
Thanks everyone who reads it and thinks that I am 'the one' =))
HAVE A SWELL NIGHT (if that's possible)!