Rosh Chodesh - NISSAN

Rosh Chodesh NISSAN, here you are!

This Rosh Chodesh is very special and touching for me, even though Jewish calendar of this year is little too quick. Meaning, last year when my baby Ezra was born on 12th of Nissan it was right the beginning of April 2012, while this year his Jewish birthday is going to be little earlier than the secular one, in the end of March. Nissan is the month of Ezra's birthday, month of Jewish nation's spiritual and physical freedom from slavery. I use to say that sometimes we are still slaves of various material things. It may sound banal, but yes, we are all slaves of our own egos and then you know it - all these luxury stuff. Not that material well-being is bad, but getting obsessed with so much vanity, definitely is.

Still off the track as usual.

Rosh Chodesh literally means the head of the month. As we define it - appearing of the new moon which is a sign of a new month. Since monthly periods and anything bound to time are very much connected to women, we call Rosh Chodesh - time of women. Many women come together, go out, or have night ins, give lessons, talk, drink coffee/tea and share SO many things we, women, can always have in store.
Traditionally (or maybe not) women shouldn't do much on this day (sometimes rosh chodesh lasts two days) - dress beautifully and have some time to meditate, and be happy. Before I was married I never appreciated this time as much as I do now, probably because I have very little time for myself and let alone, for meditating. So whenever it's Rosh Chodesh, I try to make it a bit more special as other days: I put make up, wear some accessories, get dressed better than usual and most importantly, I listen to music or write and you know, I am happy (well, happier when my husband has time to go out for some ice-cream. IDEAL.).

Rosh Chodesh Nissan is different though. Pessach is in two weeks, which means forget meditation and get back to your cleaning and dusting. I was taking very easy this prePesach cleaning before one day when I was changing Ezra I found crumbles in his sleeve. Then I freaked out - 'I HAVE TO START CLEANING NOW!!!'
All right, now I am calmer and know that I shall manage with Hashem's help (also my mother-in-law's). Now, let me enjoy Roch Chodesh and exterminate all the cakes and cookies that are left.

Chodesh Tov!!!

World in a different shape

I posted few hours ago and now I feel so calm, it is unbelievable. My mood is totally depended on the moon you know, now it's Rosh Chodesh have that in mind.

Went to the Smiths today, my chessed family, sweetest and nicest people ever. Rabbi Smith is a rosh yeshiva - the smartest man I've ever seen, calm and nice as well. And rebbetzin is as dear as it could be. Gosh. Will I ever achieve that level of bitachon and serenity? I told her I feel very nervous about various things, and find so difficult to relax and just believe everything is going to be all right with Hashem's help even though I am sure it will. I still worry and think about it. She just smiled and said that everything we do is from G-d, even the mistakes are helpful; one grows so much from them, becomes better person (ideally). She really calmed me down. Then her children started to cry and she just handled them with smile and asked with sweet voice to go to sleep. They have three small kids who I absolutely adore and learn so much from them. I mean the way rebbetzin Smith treats her children is amazing - she never raises a voice, lets them have fun and go little wild. I love that. I love when parents let their children to enjoy their childhood. She actually told me that she believes - when they grow up they should remember how nice their childhood was and how free they have been.

I also believe in that you should bring up your children very relaxed, let them be free and wild. I mean, life is going to be hard enough once they are old so why set limits? I hope and pray to be able to have children like that - healthy and happy. I will let them go crazy, get soaked wet, eat cakes with hands and laugh a lot. Seriously, when I hold baby Yedidia Smith in my arms I realize that I am going to be most cool and funny mother ever.

Yes, everyone needs family and children to feel complete. And an ATTITUDE. Attitude and ability to love and be loved you know. Had a conversation with Michal Garrett recently, she is this young American woman I am friends with, plus she teaches at the midrasha, and we came to conclusion that love is necessary. Nothing can be built up only on rational decisions, you need to feel and care about the person you marry. You need to talk and be free, be open with each other. Man. This is the most important relationship in the world - anything else just gets behind.

Life is amazing after all, isn't it? You just go out, meet people, talk to them and see the world in a different shape.

Eli7's B-day

Our snacks

Yesterday our madricha Elisheva had a birthday. She's really sweet person, always there for us, full of energy and fun. It happened to be Rosh Chodesh on the same day, so we couldn't let this day pass without celebrating.
Leah made a cake, we also had chocolate fondue - so delicious... mmmmmmm... crackers, cookies, fruits and all. Then Zsolt Balla and his wife Marina joined us. He played guitar with Keren, who plays Domra, this weird russian national instrument. You can even watch the video I made yesterday.
At 11 party was almost over... almost - because Dvora and I decided to dance and have fun. You know I'm fond of dancing or rather sliding on the floor and be happily crazy or crazily happy :D

So, I wish all the best to Elisheva, and to the other girls too!!! I love being here in this cold and scary Germany, I feel I should be here now. It's the right time and place to me, G-d willing.