Post Soviet Kitsch Again

I used to quote Regina Spektor's lyrics, but lately I have kind of forgotten her. The other day I found a new video of her show in Moscow and was very excited to watch and listen, but was quite disappointed. Because I did not see or hear same Regina - emotional, excited and happy like we all remember her at Lollapalooza 2007. I know people change, time changes and older you get, more money you need, but I didn't like that show, just being honest.
I expected something different, with more quality; one more thing that annoyed me was that she sat or stood too far from public which made the atmosphere not Reginalike at all. I believe when you are a live musician and performer who usually communicates with people, you should be closer with them and make them feel comfortable.
Maybe not for Moscow public but for me it is very important - to have communication with artist, that's why I usually go to shows or watch videos. I need to be close to people to feel them, if you know what I mean, for that people should let you closer and not sit away.

Regina Spektor is one of very few artists who had extraordinary life, emigrating from Soviet Union to America, going through problems that many of my friends have gone and found herself in music which has always been her passion and she's definitely great at.
She's one of those people you would like to be friends and go out for a walk. One that doesn't need to talk much, but look at you with her deep and clear blue eyes and make your day.
I've always liked her, perhaps because I've kind of associated myself with her - also loving Russian poetry and having this post soviet trauma that nobody will be able to overcome.

Mentioning this trauma, who knows, maybe it was all about Moscow and her childhood demons, that she couldn't open up and be the Regina we've all known. These demons are larger than life, I know that and don't judge anyone, I just wanted to see and enjoy my favourite artist who is like nobody else in this business of cheap and shallow.

The Pendulum by the Ettes

The Ettes is the band from the United States. Jam (the guy) was born in New Jersey and moved to Florida when he still was a kid. Then comes Coco, Florida born enthusiastic frontwoman and a guitar player of the band; and there's shaggy haired beautiful Poni from New York.
They are all about 70's to meet early indie of our times.

This band is not phenomenal at all. They make music that any other band could play. It's one of those guys that got really lucky to sign a record label and make an album that Drew Barrymore found and used one of their songs in her directorial debut "Whip it".

I got to know this ban via Drew too. They have got couple of good songs and Poni can hit the drums as she can't hit people, she says. As for Coco - she has a curvy figure like Drew's roller skater and a voice that Nancy Sinatra would die for.

So, nothing really special. They just got the style, got in the right place on a right time as they say and made me listen to them for a while.

Controversial love of mine

This morning I woke up and realized that I miss Midrasha a lot. Particularly coming down to the kitchen filled with dozens of girls making mess on the table, kitchen desk, then myself giving them a "mussar", sometimes even being harsh on them and still loving them all so much.

You will never know this feeling if you have only lived home under the wing of your mum eating vanilla cream muffins every morning and kissing your dad goodbye. Girls of the midrasha are so controversial from different countries, family backgrounds, education, age, social and intellectual abilities, mentalities... So what, Abraham Ybn Ezra would say, don't expect me to be perfect when I am living in this controversial world. I love Ybn Ezra and I love my very dear controversial midrasha of Berlin - best place to grow up spiritually and physically, to learn how to get on with the various girls with various characters, to speak different languages and still every Shabbat going to synagogue and singing the beloved tune of Lecha Dodi, no matter who came from where, everybody loves and enjoys being Jewish there. Even people who want to become Jewish and feel the connection had come in the midrasha and felt the difference from the rest of the seminaries: that is what I call - authenticity. Authenticity of each and every girl, each and every teacher whether they come from Soviet Union or United States, or even very sophisticated Great Britain and fancy South Africa, everyone's dedicated and has one goal:
to be right, to develop and grow the love to Torah in every girl's heart. And as we all know, it is mostly about heart when it comes to the girls.

Last week Rivkah Carl, the former madricha, called me up to say goodbye for she was leaving next day to the states. I felt such love towards her. One needs so little to feel happy and glad; we spoke about the past year in the midrasha, the ups and downs, but hey, who could recall the downs? NOBODY. There is always 'ups' over there in the Lauder Midrasha, even if sometimes girls feel lonely and tired, under pressure or under excitement (for example if somebody's getting married and they have to get dressed and made up properly), but in the end of the day they could always find Rivkah, or Michal (the one and only em bayit Mrs Garrett, who I love so much), or even me (not so calm and wise as Michal but always ready to give a huge hug to anyone needed) to confide in and talk.

I don't know how it is going to be this year in the midrasha. There will be new management, new girls, new teachers, new family living on the third floor where all of us used to stick up colorful papers on the wall writing messages to the Garretts. I believe this new zman will be wonderful with Hashem's help, but we will never be the same, will we? We all grow up and change, leave the midrasha and have it also leaving amazing trail on our mind and soul. May all of us who have been or will be there always take positive, useful and sunny messages from the very controversial place of the world.

Lastly, not least though, thanks to Josh Spinner for founding place like this and giving us this opportunity. May you live long and happy life with your lovely family!!!

This isn't Paris. This is hell.

Jack:

"This isn't Paris. This is hell."

I knew Julie Delpy was extremely talented, but I would never imagine that "2 days in Paris" could be such an amazing movie. Imagine Julie has directed, written, produced and played main character in the movie. Oh, and she has also done some music for it. This movie is not only about relationship between french woman and american man, it is more than that. It's about life, about European problems of racism and especially french ones.

Looking for Jim Morrisson's tomb

Before I saw this movie I read that Julie Delpy has got American citizenship and has been living there for a long time. Although she has kept her French passport, she feels home in the Usa. One might not notice it, but you can tell that she despises lots of things in Paris and understands that it is not the way people should live. Julie's character is very emotional, very just and gets angry about people who do wrong. She's this sweet and little crazy girl Celine (from "Before Sunrise") who got older, but can't help to be a strong woman with attitude. Not only Celine, she's also Sophie if you'd like to know...

It's so funny when she calls him: BUBI

Not only being strong woman is a problem, but also being smart and outspoken. When I watched this movie I was amazed, man, it is so hard to find a guy you could talk to and that's why I haven't liked anyone lately. I mean, all those tricks and girl things are really disgusting and depressing, do you know what I'm saying? All those things one should do or should not on a date, to plan the conversation before, ask this, ask that, respond or not to... I guess this movie said everything I've ever wanted to say out loud - there are much more important things going on in the world and people just sit and waste their lives planning tricks and deceiving one another.

Bravo, Julie!
10/10

Sore-ority :)

It's my 100th post on this blog and I have terrible cold. My nose, throat and eyes are sore, plus Shavuot is coming and I feel like a zombie :( I wanted to be happy and energetic on this day, and I'm so miserable - have no mood neither to eat nor to laugh. I very much hope that I'll get some sleep before Yom Tov and will be better for the following night.

I wanted to tell you about this new girl in midrasha. She's staying with us for Yom Tov, she studies in the USA, at Yale and you can imagine how I like her. Ella's her name and she's supersmart. It's such pleasure talking to her, she's got very low and calm voice, speaks in friendly and nice tune. I love Yale. I mean, that's where I always wanted to study and live all that life students do there. Ella told me that it's very different from other universities in Europe and all - in addition with studies, they also do many social activities, have some societies and etc. Sounds like some smart kids' movie, doesn't it? I am so glad that I have an opportunity to meet so many smart and nice people from around the world. I hope they feel the same way about me. If they don't it will be a heartbreak for me. Especially now when I feel so fragile because of cold that I have to blow my nose every other minute.

Chag Shavuot Sameach!

SMILE!

Beautiful midrasha girls in Antwerp for Sukkot

Yesterday we had a great guest speaker Chaya Levine, councellor from Israel. She's originally from the Usa, amazing personality. She spoke about foremother Sarah and her beauty. When she asked why does everyone want to be beautiful, no-one could answer. Maybe because we all live in a different place than the whole world - midrasha in Berlin, separated from the vanity and all. We all feel beautiful and don't really care about the world standards. Anyways, I said that probably beauty is that what shines out from inside and you can see it in one's eyes. You know what I mean.

Ok, I've always known that I am beautiful, at least I'm quite cute. It seems that beauty was created by G-d to bring us joy, with beauty we cheer others, we attract people in a good way and make them feel comfortable. For me beautiful person is the one, who smiles and never forgets to greet others. It means that beauty's not only a material thing, but something deep and great, like of that Sarah Imeinu had got.

So Chaya agreed. True beauty is in the way one behaves - with modesty, dignity and recognition that all is given by G-d.

I love shiurs like this. I'd love to be a councellor myself one day, it's so excited talking with the girls, sharing your experience and looking into their eyes and see how beautiful they are.

Most important thing for me was her words: "Smile is a mitzvah!"
You know I'm so fond of smiling, but since yesterday I've been smiling lot more with all my heart, because I can feel I'm doing right thing and cheering up others who'd like to be smiled :)

SMILE & FEEL HAPPY!