Sophie's Thursday

I love Thursdays.
Sometimes I don't.
Usually I do.

Oh, on Thursdays I am a chesed girl which means I go to the particular family of our community in the evening and help to cook for Shabbat. I am the least person fond of cooking but anyways I can make nice things. I made choux pastry and apple kugel at the Smith's today. I have been eager to learn cooking lately actually, I would like to feed my husband well one day. I think when you care about someone you can go over your limits and try to work on the skills you never cared about before.
Life is amazing, isn't it?

Forget that.
I still love Thursday.
It is last day of the working/studying week for me. It means after chesed I can grab a beer, peanuts and have some time with myself sitting, listening to Melanie C and watch some movie after.

Beck's gold has done its job... see you when I'm sober ;) :D

To Teddy and David

Sometimes I feel like all the Salinger characters taken together: Holden, Seymour, Teddy, Franny, Buddy... Gosh.
I did not go to the Smiths' today. I did not feel well, I wanted to stay home, have beer and read something from Salinger. I had missed him.

So I reread "Teddy". You know what kills me in it? Episode when Teddy's talking to the big guy and tells him how he found out about G-d's existence: He was 6 and saw his sister drinking milk. So he realized there must have been God in that milk and in his sister too. I just could not read it without my heart trying to jump out my chest. Boy, is Teddy amazing!
I don't know when I realized there was G-d. I think I was younger and my nanny read a story of David and Goliath to me - so I thought there should have been SOMEONE who would dwell in David's heart and mind to encourage him to defeat the huge enemy.

I think Teddy and I had the same experience, he saw God in the milk and I saw Him in 'little' David's heart which probably was trying to jump out as mine did today while reading "Teddy".

After reading it I could not stay in my room anymore. So I went downstairs at the Garretts' (this lovely young couple from the States). She was cooking for Shabbos with Rachel and I wasn't in time I guess. I walked here and there, said this and that, and I was about to leave when I decided to tell the story of Teddy to Michal and Rachel. That's how our conversation started. She told me how she feels about G-d, then her husband came home and we asked his opinion for he is very intelligent person. But he's a rabbi-to-be and I don't feel very comfortable speaking out my mind with him.

When I left I felt little sad. What if I should have not brought up "Teddy" at all? I am afraid that people will think of me as this smart but crazy person who reads Salinger like mad and sees G-d in the milk and David's heart. The problem is that I am little crazy and I would have never had this personality that I have now without reading Biblical stories in my childhood and Salinger in my adolescence.

But this is not all.
After leaving the Garretts' apartment I logged on Facebook and saw Rebekka's message. She sent me the link to her blog. Man! She is just unbelievable or I just want her to be so. She might be reminding me of my "Holden Caulfield" childhood and all those things that used to inspire me. Whatever it is I could never imagine that it was possible to have such thoughts and be able to express them so well.

I had a wonderful day I have to say.
Day full of learning, thinking and finding Teddy in my room dwelling in the book and waiting for me to open it up. So I did.