Who is Your Favourite Poet?

Previous post came out so dark and full of critique that I decided to write some lighthearted one for today. Honestly, enough of that Sidney Parker and let's look at a bright one, who was supposed to play a villain, seducer, nasty and immoral baronet Sir Edward Denham, instead we got this very funny and attractive golden locked Edward who is so talentless with women, we start to sympathise with him from the start.

Even when Lady Denham talks about him as someone charming who ladies like to look at makes us smile, because of his recent ridiculous dialogue about swimming with Charlotte. Edward is a cool funny guy you would like to party and laugh with. He doesn't jump at women either, when he sees Charlotte is not into him and could not care less, he never once bothers her or makes any improper comments. He's a well mannered guy, very good job, Jack Fox!

Jack Fox as Edward Denham

Some scenes of Edward Denham as played by Jack Fox was so ridiculously silly that I couldn't stop laughing. I loved how he gets acquainted with Charlotte: "Enchanted!" - says he and Charlotte's look is priceless. His flirting style is also funny and makes you laugh all the way. I don't know, perhaps Andrew Davies should have cast Jack Fox as Sidney Parker, because he is the only guy who makes you laugh in this film. Is it that Jack Fox as a real human is so nice that he turned silly Sir Edward into likable character?

Now, I hated the intimate and scandalous episode with Clara Brereton, it was totally unnecessary and cheap. I definitely rewinded those moments because I do not watch films to see naked flesh and most natural intercourse that exists in the world from its creation. I watch films to find something to think about, to analyse, to laugh and write about it. I definitely wouldn't write about that episode, because it didn't make sense. They could have given us a hint what happened but not shown so vividly. Perhaps since Sir Edward's original character in the book is very evil, they thought they had to do something in this film too. But Jack Fox is such a positive and fine actor, he just turned the villain into very funny and spunky one.
Yes he is manipulative and nasty to his stepsister, he is not loyal and is very mercantile, but he is what is expected of him. He is not a main hero and we do not need to fall in love with him. Do you know what I mean? Every main character is created to be liked and loved by viewers - like Charlotte and Sidney (sadly, latter didn't convinced us enough), while other ones just live along.
Sir Edward is interesting and at some point, he looks even sadly romantic and reminds me of some old poet, who tries his best but never succeeds although he has every talent to do so.

Jack Fox gets 8/10 from me, very good performance: charming and funny!

Is That What You Really Think of Me?

Should I rename this blog "Sanditon Revisited"?

A friend asked me the other day: why have you been so strict and tough on Sidney Parker? Is that what you really think of him?

Then I  rewatched the episodes and decided to explain my opinion anew.
No, it remains the same and I still think of Sidney Parker as rude and bad-tempered man, but slightly improved ;-)

Theo James as Sidney Parker

Let's start from the fact that Sidney Parker as played by English actor Theo James has nothing to do with Jane Austen's original character. As Austen describes him, Mr. Parker is very witty and funny, who makes one laugh. You would never say that about "our" Sanditon one. This Sidney is everything but funny and witty.
I understand that Mr. Davies has done his best to finish the novel just as he pleased, who am I to correct him, but I just can't get over the fact that Sidney Parker has the main heroine fall for him and then he forsakes her to "save" his selfish and irresponsible brother. There is nothing gentle about him. He cannot be Jane Austen's main gentleman hero.
He's a Conundrum, his eldest brother says of him. What are you talking about?

This Sidney Parker is extremely masculine, meaning most Jane Austen heroes always have had some softness in them, even Mr. Darcy had a heart (yes, the same Davies' 1995 version too), but this guy Sidney played by Theo James is more like some hothead from Western movies or "worse", James Bond himself, nothankyouverymuch.
We know Theo James has got a fever about James Bond. He probably has been dreaming to play the Agent 007 one day, and I don't blame him, he has all the talents, but why, why spoil the Sidney Parker for us?

First off, tv episodes are for ladies, Jane Austen novels are for ladies. No matter how smart and witty, don't believe men enjoy reading her, so you gotta try for ladies, young man, JUST for ladies! We didn't need James Bond or John Wayne kicking ass and jumping from carriages, we expected Austen gentleman (like Mr. Knightley and Mr. Darcy) coming to rescue Charlotte from those crazy bunch in Sanditon. We needed a GENTLEMAN! We needed warm, soft eyes and a WEDDING!!! That's what it's all about. That is our Jane Austen's well known trick to make her heroines claim they do not care about marriage, but of course they do. Which lady doesn't?

All right, Sidney Parker does few nice things: helping Charlotte and Dr. Fuchs with Old Stringer, he also shows how kind he is bringing Otis back, and he seems to like his brother's children, but can't remember anything more important that really could impress me and win my heart were I Charlotte. Although I admit that when a single guy knows how to play with kids and how to talk to them without sounding ridiculous, is already a big achievement and will definitely warm girl's heart.
What is also positive about him is that Sidney is honest and grateful. He acknowledges that he truly became his best self because of Charlotte, really tried to be a better man and probably, would keep trying more if not being interrupted so many times that I even felt sorry for him. It wasn't easy for him after being so bitterly betrayed and forsaken himself.
He does not have anyone to love him just for his own sake. Except Charlotte of course, but he doesn't deserve that love, he hadn't earned it. It happened just because Charlotte is young, has no experience and as it tends to be of human/women nature - any extremely handsome, intelligent and attractively tough guy would make your knees go weak.

Sidney is a broken man like other characters in this very special film. He doesn't seem to be over Eliza Campion even after 10 years and you can see that clearly in his eyes at the London Ball.
That episode (6th) was really powerful and I think I loved every second of it.
(Side note: while rewatching I rewinded a lot, because many scenes are boring and meaningless to me, but this Ball was incomparable. I believe it's been one of the best Balls made in modern movie history. Charlotte and Sidney - both lovely, their dance - perfect. You should all see it yourselves.) But then again in a second's time Sidney looks very weak and lost with Eliza, no sign of James Bond there... He's confused and looks like a little boy, not like matured gentleman.

Writing this down made me realise that Theo James is the producer of the last episodes, so should we blame exclusively him for getting this heartbreaking finale?
We as well got his real time wife Ruth Kearney playing the cold and bitter Mrs. Campion who got money, title and the main hero in the end.
What else shall I say?
C'est la Vie!

Honestly, the whole film is all about very hardcore C'est la Vie. 
That's how life goes - good people don't always get what they deserve while wicked and irresponsible ones do very well.

Theo James 5/10 - very good dancer, Sir, but no Jane Austen hero! He is very handsome and one can even call him a heartthrob, but somehow his eyes lack warmness, lack passion and he cannot smile. His smile always looked so fake in this film, that I cringed everytime I saw him trying to smile. Grinning yes, he did well. I am sorry. I just do not like this actor.
I also have seen many of his interviews and although he claims to have studied philosophy and tries to look intelligent, he always manages to talk very shallow and often about his intimate body parts, flirts with women journalists and makes them uncomfortable. What can I do, you should be a good human to make a good actor for me.
Nothing personal though, you will do great James Bond. Wish you every happiness!

...To be continued obviously. I've still got so much to write about "Sanditon". Mr. Andrew Davies, thank you! Even though you have managed to completely ruin the Jane Austen novel, you did create a new very interesting and intriguing DRAMA indeed.

My Best Self

It's about Sanditon again. It's about Charlotte Heywood played by talented Rose Williams. She is like a lone shining star in that film - one pure and beautiful soul who suddenly happened to visit Sanditon and changed many things including herself.

And myself.

This film made a major impact on me, it made me think and rethink about many things. I've realised I need to express myself, to write, to listen to music, to keep on shining!!! Keep on! 

I am so young damn it! I am.

Really, I looked in the mirror the other day and I saw the same Sophie looking at me (ok, little bit changed), smiling and full of hopes and dreams. Although all of my hopes and dreams are now around my family, I should remember there is ME too, you know what I mean?

"I am my best self, my truest self, when I am with you!"

Charlotte and Sidney made me accept my vulnerability. 

They made me feel young again, however ridiculous it might sound to you. I feel like I've been swimming in ocean for ages and now I got to breathe some fresh air. 

Now I've got to look at myself in the mirror again and say: Sophie, I like you! But you must be your best self, your truest self to feel good about you too!

Can we not rewrite our history if we find it disagreeable?

I've got so much to say. I've got so so much to say and I don't know if I shall say. Funny, huh?

I am utterly impressed by Andrew Davies' "Sanditon". Yes by his Sanditon and not Jane Austen's, because this version is so very much "male" that can't get more.

If you've ever been 20 and in love, if you were head over heels, if you thought that was it, your life would end without that particular "love" object who made the sun rise and set - then you will know that this "Sanditon" film is very real. So real that it even hurts sometimes. It hurts because you realise life is tough. Life is very materialistic and brutal. Even sweet and loving eyes can be deceitful and when you are young, you are so vulnerable, you don't even know it. You think you've got it, you can control your feelings towards a person, but you just cannot. I don't know if it is hormonal or biochemical stuff, whatever and however you call it - it is something that lots of us have experienced, I am sure. It is something I wouldn't wish my children to experience and get hurt.

I've never been Jane Austen's superfan or something. I've only read her "Pride and Prejudice" and it tortured me to pieces, I must confess. It might have been my ignorance in "high" English language or because I am your regular post soviet proletariat daughter, Jewish-Irish Mohican and all that, so I just couldn't wrap my mind about the different social classes and their snobbism. It took me years to become friends with Elizabeth Bennet and Mister Darcy. Oh that grumpy Mr. Darcy!

Theo James as Sidney Parker and Rose Williams as Charlotte Heywood 

Now on a more serious note: what made "Sanditon" so interesting to me: English accent, music, time period, very attractive and beautiful actors: Rose Williams plays so well that innocent and naive, at the same time courageous and clever Ms Heywood, that you just love her. And because she reminded me of myself, let's be honest. That's who I was when I was 20 - little Miss Heywood with big dreams, enthusiasm and no interest in marriage at all, indeed. I thought I could just conquer the world with my intelligence and kind smile. I thought the world needed me so bad it would just collapse without me, as well as every Mr. Darcy or Sidney Parker would just give a fortune to know a girl like me.

What a very young (and naive) clever woman, who's read tons of books, really seeks from men is understanding and compassion. She believes that her kindness will win and justice will rejoice, but it is not always the case, and maybe, maybe it's even for the good.
For example, let's take a look at Sidney Parker (and as one person mentioned, if not played by very good looking Theo James, maybe we would've not cared much about that character at all):
he's handsome, mysterious, grumpy (well, some ladies die for grumpiness), kindhearted, supposedly good businessman and a noble guy (which I don't quite believe), BUT he's too harsh on Charlotte, he yells at her, he loses his temper many times, he's got no shame when Charlotte sees him naked in the sea, he's being bitter and often bossy. Perhaps 20 year old girl would fall in love with such a guy, would even shed many tears after losing him too, but in 10-15 years, she would be very grateful, that God actually spared her from such an arrogant and unpleasant guy.

I am not going to spoil the rest of the film for you, since it hasn't been released in many countries yet. All I can say, although this is not Jane Austen version at all, the director and script writer (I guess it's the same person) has got it really really right. The story is very believable, very realistic, characters are spot on - emotional, fun, crazy, immoral (which sadly fits our society today), broken, and still - likable, because who are we to judge unless we've been in their exact shoes.

8/10 - I could've given less, but there are some really good lines in it, which I will probably always remember, like that one I used for the title.

All about everything

Sometimes I forget I'm human.

It's been a very busy season, I miss being stay at home mum even though I used to feel exhausted and drowning in diapers. Still that was the best time. 

Now it's all hustle and bustle at its best.

So, I said I forget that I am human.

I can feel jealous, angry, upset, disappointed, heartbroken, deceived, lonely... yet be happy and sunny as usual.

It is all right. IT IS OKAY, SOPHIE!!! GANZ OK!!! Ok?

Today I was thinking I need an inspiration. Couple of years ago I had those role models - mums of dozens of children, who stayed home, felt they were simple Hausfraus, but still the bosses of their lives.

Today I don't know who I wanna be when I "grow up".

I still admire those women.

But also admire other ones, who maybe had to work and control their fertility, maybe it didn't work for them and their bodies just stopped being so fruitful anymore...

Who knows? How can I know and more so, how could I ever judge.

Never judge, it says in Pirkei Avot, never judge anyone until you're in their shoes. And since everyone in this world is unique, one can never fit in other person's shoes, meaning - we are never allowed to judge others. Never. Who knows what they went through, how their parents treated them in childhood. We don't know anything.
Just be empathic and polite.

Have a happy week, Sophie. You're good. You have to be :-P

Let There Be Light

Life is too funny.

Let there be light. And there was light.

Even here.

Little Birdie

Little birdie, little birdie, where do you come from, then?
Looked for crumble, for some crumble but nothing was there. 

German Children Song (with my rough translation)

This little sweet German song about a Little Birdie, that has been looking for a crumble, but could not find any because of Winter, has become so close to my heart lately. 

My big boy learnt it at the Kindergarten and when he came home singing it, and I looked up for the lyrics, I knew right away, that was my song of this period of life.

Not that I am a little in any sense of this word, quite the opposite; especially the ego. Oh, man!

No. It's just I am looking for a crumble too. I feel so spiritually hungry sometimes, so lonely that only thing I can relate to is this Kleine Meise, Little Birdie.

Having such a huge history behind, and ahead. Having the gold as they say and still looking for a silver? Not really. I am fine and settled with my spirituality, but I don't understand everything and I don't do it with joy. I struggle a lot while knowing what I have to do is right and I wouldn't do it any other way, but just having this "must" really makes it harder. And it should be that way too, I know very well. Nothing comes easy, at least for me. 

And for anyone, I guess. It's just we always think others live easier than us without knowing their hearts and souls.

I saw this video of hilarious Rivka Malka the other day and it stayed in my mind forever (now I could not find the exact video, but all her videos are worth of watching). She said, we can never be in other person's shoes, because we have never experienced what the other one has. We have never had the same childhood, upbringing, struggles with other people. Although we can share and relate, be empathic and even feel some of the feelings actually, we'll never be able to fully understand others' woes. 

I mean, I have tried but what I always think is how would I do it, how would I react and cope with it, not how other one could, because I can't know the hormonal changes in others.

Just start talking about something with people and you will get absolutely different answers from everyone, different views, even different understanding of the "obvious" (for you) question.

This used to frustrate me: how could that be, I say this and it's received in that way while I meant it this way?

I am sure everyone had this experience.

So I won't be frustrated if someone calls me saying, lady, what Little Birdie are you talking about? Are you cold? Put on some coat and drink a hot tea with lemon.

Not cold at all.