Lovely Pebbles

I was thinking I always live somewhere else. For example, when I lived in Georgia, I've never cared about local TV or local news, I only watched foreign television, cared about foreign movies and music and books too.

Then, after moving to the West, and enjoying Europe at its best, I've come to realise that I enjoy foreign youtubers and bloggers more than the local ones. No idea why. Or let's say, I love everything English and it has always been that way wherever I lived.

So this prologue was to introduce you to my another favourite British Youtuber, lovely and beautiful Lily Pebbles. Now, how cute is her "last name"? Which is actually her middle name. 

I first heard about her/from her on Giovanna Fletcher's podcast, where she was so vulnerable and fragile, talking about her struggles about motherhood, her religion, her body... I totally fell in love with her authenticity right away and then started watching her videos (she also led me to Anna Newton!) and podcast. 

I was going to write some emotional post about her beautiful deep Jewish eyes, just look at her! She is so pretty and the way she looks, it's like she has the whole wide world of kindness in them, but I think I will not write about that now. I wish her the best. 

She always cheers me up and makes me feel good - she seems so nonjudgmental and thoughtful. You wouldn't expect such an young woman with quite a "private school" and posh Londoner background to be so sensitive and non arrogant at all. Sometimes she might sound little bit snobby but not too much.

She's a sunshine and very special one, let me say that. Check her out yourselves and you will see.

Watch and Hear

Every time I log on this blog, I search for the different fonts and never find the suitable one. But I did today! Phew! Content.

Feeling like I am typing on an old machine as I used to when I visited my mum at her work everyday when I was little.

It's a cloudy day on this part of my World, although quite warm and nice. Listening to Leonhard Cohen. How brilliant was he! What a voice. The linked one has such sweet Eastern melody and there's even a second when you hear the "klezmer", then you travel to Paris and come back to wherever you wish you were. Beautifully melancholic.

I don't read books anymore, I don't watch films, I don't watch shows! Just have no patience for drama.

What I do is I watch YouTube videos obviously. And guess who is my favourite nowadays? Anna Newton of The Anna Edit blog. She is so lovely!!! I mean it in every English way, just lovely!

She's such a cosy sweet girl, who makes you feel very comfortable. I can't stand divas you know me. I can't watch/listen to any other beauty lifestyle vloggers (except her friend Lily). They make me either cringe or very uncosy. I just can't handle "overdone" ones. I can't stand people who make me feel inferior. Even if you are not good enough at something, which we all are at some point, you don't want anyone tell you or make you feel that way. Anna is someone who talks so nicely about the beauty products or food, that you might not even heard about, or is too expensive for you to afford, that it doesn't make you feel bad or sad at all.

Her YouTube channel is very refreshing. I can cook along with her (my favourite videos of her actually), do my chores and even learn about the beauty products I had never heard before. So funny. Anna's couple of years younger than me and I found out about Serum (not this one, it's just my favourite) from her. I know. But don't forget I am a woman who only owned mascara and lip balm until her middle 20's. And I only started using foundation when I was pregnant with my first because I got red spots all over my face and I looked not nice. It was Max Factor obviously. I still do not use many products but as I get older, I definitely need moisturizer, eye cream, different face creams and etc. I am also lover of Jojoba oil mixed with some Ylang Ylang or Red Grapefruit essential oils. Smells nice and minimal to me.

Anna is also doing this amazing Podcast "At home with Lily and Anna". Just check them out on Apple podcasts or google. I love listening to them, because they are such fun, cheerful and also very serious about their jobs. I respect that a lot.

The quality of the podcast is very good. I used to listen some others and somehow the sound was not clear enough. You know my radio loving heart and ears need to have a good audio to be able to accept the "noise". Both Anna and Lily have very pleasant and clean voices too, so that makes it even easier to do chores and have them on your background, also not just background, but really hearing their every word. Especially if you are someone who has trouble with understanding British accent, don't worry, these girls are rather "first class" as my teacher used to say, which means - they are perfectly coherent.

And I like Anna Newton, because her name is Anna. Yes, one of my favourite names. I had a lovely friend back at Uni, her name was also Anna - she also had dark silky hair and sweetest personality ever. Gave me Paulo Coelho books for every birthday. Never met anyone like her, so selfless and caring. I've learnt a lot from her although she was younger than me. Well, why I keep saying "younger"? Because when someone's younger you don't really expect him/her to be so considerate and thoughtful. I appreciate that so much, because I think I was never a selfless person like that. Now I am work in progress though. I am, I promise.

Have a lovely Wednesday and enjoy Anna's videos and podcast!

The Caprocorn Mood

It's so easy to be a philosopher, while sitting warm and cozy in your room not having to face mundane problems or annoying people, who bug you all the time.
It's so easy to watch others from afar and remain calm and nice person, isn't it?

BUT it's very hard to be in the midst of people, handling emotions, giving, getting and still remain sane and content.

I think that's where I am now. I get so emotionally drenched that sometimes I act like a neurotic woman of Woody Allen. It's nobody's fault, that's how the system works, doesn't it?

Well, once again, I am this dreamy Capricorn who was born to be a philosopher but is forced to work.

My dear girl, I just want to make you happy!

Oh, Esther, how beautiful and cold are you!!!

Still "Sanditon" on my mind.
I should cover all the characters and tell you what I feel about them.

I love Esther Denham. I am in awe how her character develops through the episodes. It is amazing how Lord Babington brings all the good things out of her and makes her happy.

Charlotte Spencer is a very good actress - sure, it might not be to her credit, that she's got this beautiful pale skin full of lovely freckles and splendid red hair. But she's got the steely and icy look, this attitude of not caring about others while in reality she is soft and fragile.
Her best episode was the one where she talked and cried at her sick aunt's bedside, but  I also loved when she and Ms. Heywood take a walk down to the shore and Esther gives her opinion about all the people of Sanditon:
Wow!
Isn't she right! She is so good at knowing people around except her own stepbrother, which makes us think again how easy it is to look at others and tell their flaws while you are blinded to notice your own.

Very good job, Charlotte Spencer! You could pull off any other classic time period role ever written too, be it Austen or grand Tolstoy for sure.

9/10 the best Esther Denham for the win!!!

Swinging in the Rain

Shalom alechem, geshem!!!

These words came out when I left Lidl and the raindrops fell on my coat. I have no umbrella, no rain boots on me, how marvelous! - I smiled to the sky.
I don't know why I talked in Hebrew to the rain, that's just what came out from my heart at that moment.

And you know what happened yesterday?

After coming home from 3 hours waiting at the doctor's office, I looked at my phone and changed the weather forecast to Tbilisi. Then I napped for hours and after waking up, I looked at my phone again (how logical of our times) and wondered, why do I have Tbilisi forecast on my screen? I don't live there anymore... and my heart quenched a bit. I missed my Tbilisi, beautiful old city of my youth. City that will always be in my heart, no matter how old I am and where I live. It's the place I was born and the place I got my heart broken in. place where I know everything. Rather I knew. It should be different now, it's been 10 years since I left. Despite speaking millions (not literally) of languages, moving in different countries and cities, my heart probably is still 20, dreaming in rainy spring Tbilisi, listening to the radio and writing away...
Thanks, Hashem for that.

Georgia's on my mind

Thanks for sending this rain to cleanse my heart and soul, Hashem. I didn't think it would rain, it was such a clean sky when I woke up. I thought it would be freezing cold with sun. But there it came - sweet geshem of mine.

I'm officially sick with sinus infection. After bringing kids to school, shopping and having such sweet conversation with rain, I made my late favourite lavender tea with lemon and put some working jazz on to go on with this swinging mood...

I've been writing only about Sanditon lately and today this rain made me feel so good, I figured, I should write about my mood too.

I turned 35 in December. I'm a wife, mother, teacher, daughter, human!!! It feels like the quarter of my life has been lived and now I am this semi-wise lady that can tell you her opinion. Not that I was ever shy to express my mind, but now being 35 gives me the right to do so even more, does it not?
But on the contrary I've been quite silent, because I don't feel like sharing my opinion that much anymore. I've got responsibilities and once you say something, you cannot swallow it back. Now that I am older and supposed to be smarter, I try to be diplomatic, and am trying to let go of my insecurities, talk less and think more.
As my old dear friend told me: everything is under control, but not your's!

So let Hashem control it, since He is the best at that. And let me have this rainy day with music and my tea, swinging little blues on my heart.

Who is Your Favourite Poet?

Previous post came out so dark and full of critique that I decided to write some lighthearted one for today. Honestly, enough of that Sidney Parker and let's look at a bright one, who was supposed to play a villain, seducer, nasty and immoral baronet Sir Edward Denham, instead we got this very funny and attractive golden locked Edward who is so talentless with women, we start to sympathise with him from the start.

Even when Lady Denham talks about him as someone charming who ladies like to look at makes us smile, because of his recent ridiculous dialogue about swimming with Charlotte. Edward is a cool funny guy you would like to party and laugh with. He doesn't jump at women either, when he sees Charlotte is not into him and could not care less, he never once bothers her or makes any improper comments. He's a well mannered guy, very good job, Jack Fox!

Jack Fox as Edward Denham

Some scenes of Edward Denham as played by Jack Fox was so ridiculously silly that I couldn't stop laughing. I loved how he gets acquainted with Charlotte: "Enchanted!" - says he and Charlotte's look is priceless. His flirting style is also funny and makes you laugh all the way. I don't know, perhaps Andrew Davies should have cast Jack Fox as Sidney Parker, because he is the only guy who makes you laugh in this film. Is it that Jack Fox as a real human is so nice that he turned silly Sir Edward into likable character?

Now, I hated the intimate and scandalous episode with Clara Brereton, it was totally unnecessary and cheap. I definitely rewinded those moments because I do not watch films to see naked flesh and most natural intercourse that exists in the world from its creation. I watch films to find something to think about, to analyse, to laugh and write about it. I definitely wouldn't write about that episode, because it didn't make sense. They could have given us a hint what happened but not shown so vividly. Perhaps since Sir Edward's original character in the book is very evil, they thought they had to do something in this film too. But Jack Fox is such a positive and fine actor, he just turned the villain into very funny and spunky one.
Yes he is manipulative and nasty to his stepsister, he is not loyal and is very mercantile, but he is what is expected of him. He is not a main hero and we do not need to fall in love with him. Do you know what I mean? Every main character is created to be liked and loved by viewers - like Charlotte and Sidney (sadly, latter didn't convinced us enough), while other ones just live along.
Sir Edward is interesting and at some point, he looks even sadly romantic and reminds me of some old poet, who tries his best but never succeeds although he has every talent to do so.

Jack Fox gets 8/10 from me, very good performance: charming and funny!

Is That What You Really Think of Me?

Should I rename this blog "Sanditon Revisited"?

A friend asked me the other day: why have you been so strict and tough on Sidney Parker? Is that what you really think of him?

Then I  rewatched the episodes and decided to explain my opinion anew.
No, it remains the same and I still think of Sidney Parker as rude and bad-tempered man, but slightly improved ;-)

Theo James as Sidney Parker

Let's start from the fact that Sidney Parker as played by English actor Theo James has nothing to do with Jane Austen's original character. As Austen describes him, Mr. Parker is very witty and funny, who makes one laugh. You would never say that about "our" Sanditon one. This Sidney is everything but funny and witty.
I understand that Mr. Davies has done his best to finish the novel just as he pleased, who am I to correct him, but I just can't get over the fact that Sidney Parker has the main heroine fall for him and then he forsakes her to "save" his selfish and irresponsible brother. There is nothing gentle about him. He cannot be Jane Austen's main gentleman hero.
He's a Conundrum, his eldest brother says of him. What are you talking about?

This Sidney Parker is extremely masculine, meaning most Jane Austen heroes always have had some softness in them, even Mr. Darcy had a heart (yes, the same Davies' 1995 version too), but this guy Sidney played by Theo James is more like some hothead from Western movies or "worse", James Bond himself, nothankyouverymuch.
We know Theo James has got a fever about James Bond. He probably has been dreaming to play the Agent 007 one day, and I don't blame him, he has all the talents, but why, why spoil the Sidney Parker for us?

First off, tv episodes are for ladies, Jane Austen novels are for ladies. No matter how smart and witty, don't believe men enjoy reading her, so you gotta try for ladies, young man, JUST for ladies! We didn't need James Bond or John Wayne kicking ass and jumping from carriages, we expected Austen gentleman (like Mr. Knightley and Mr. Darcy) coming to rescue Charlotte from those crazy bunch in Sanditon. We needed a GENTLEMAN! We needed warm, soft eyes and a WEDDING!!! That's what it's all about. That is our Jane Austen's well known trick to make her heroines claim they do not care about marriage, but of course they do. Which lady doesn't?

All right, Sidney Parker does few nice things: helping Charlotte and Dr. Fuchs with Old Stringer, he also shows how kind he is bringing Otis back, and he seems to like his brother's children, but can't remember anything more important that really could impress me and win my heart were I Charlotte. Although I admit that when a single guy knows how to play with kids and how to talk to them without sounding ridiculous, is already a big achievement and will definitely warm girl's heart.
What is also positive about him is that Sidney is honest and grateful. He acknowledges that he truly became his best self because of Charlotte, really tried to be a better man and probably, would keep trying more if not being interrupted so many times that I even felt sorry for him. It wasn't easy for him after being so bitterly betrayed and forsaken himself.
He does not have anyone to love him just for his own sake. Except Charlotte of course, but he doesn't deserve that love, he hadn't earned it. It happened just because Charlotte is young, has no experience and as it tends to be of human/women nature - any extremely handsome, intelligent and attractively tough guy would make your knees go weak.

Sidney is a broken man like other characters in this very special film. He doesn't seem to be over Eliza Campion even after 10 years and you can see that clearly in his eyes at the London Ball.
That episode (6th) was really powerful and I think I loved every second of it.
(Side note: while rewatching I rewinded a lot, because many scenes are boring and meaningless to me, but this Ball was incomparable. I believe it's been one of the best Balls made in modern movie history. Charlotte and Sidney - both lovely, their dance - perfect. You should all see it yourselves.) But then again in a second's time Sidney looks very weak and lost with Eliza, no sign of James Bond there... He's confused and looks like a little boy, not like matured gentleman.

Writing this down made me realise that Theo James is the producer of the last episodes, so should we blame exclusively him for getting this heartbreaking finale?
We as well got his real time wife Ruth Kearney playing the cold and bitter Mrs. Campion who got money, title and the main hero in the end.
What else shall I say?
C'est la Vie!

Honestly, the whole film is all about very hardcore C'est la Vie. 
That's how life goes - good people don't always get what they deserve while wicked and irresponsible ones do very well.

Theo James 5/10 - very good dancer, Sir, but no Jane Austen hero! He is very handsome and one can even call him a heartthrob, but somehow his eyes lack warmness, lack passion and he cannot smile. His smile always looked so fake in this film, that I cringed everytime I saw him trying to smile. Grinning yes, he did well. I am sorry. I just do not like this actor.
I also have seen many of his interviews and although he claims to have studied philosophy and tries to look intelligent, he always manages to talk very shallow and often about his intimate body parts, flirts with women journalists and makes them uncomfortable. What can I do, you should be a good human to make a good actor for me.
Nothing personal though, you will do great James Bond. Wish you every happiness!

...To be continued obviously. I've still got so much to write about "Sanditon". Mr. Andrew Davies, thank you! Even though you have managed to completely ruin the Jane Austen novel, you did create a new very interesting and intriguing DRAMA indeed.