For good

You know what gets on my nerves? When somebody says that everything has its reason and all happens for good purpose. Well, I am one of those annoying people who say that actually. I keep saying things like that because I need to calm myself down and make life easier. In reality, how do I know that it is for good or nothing happens without particular reason? I do not. I just have to believe in it, haven't I?

This post is going to be less positive or optimistic. What really makes me happy is smile upon a person who's greeting me like my neighbour, old Kurdish woman, who always forgets my name, but remembers to smile at me and wish me good luck. That is definitely for good. And after that I always have wonderful day.

No matter how strong we are, we need human support, human love and understanding to go on living and breathing, if you know what I mean. We need each other to talk and to listen. But hey, who listens to each other these days? No-one, that's why everyone goes to the damn psychologists and waste fortunes to be heard.

I wanna be heard. Probably that is the reason I blog. I hate talking when I can write instead. And I love smiling and having fun because in the end - everyone is same, dead and sore.
I am not and never will be afraid of get embarrassed, I am going to be what I am and I am not bad person, am I? Sure, you've seen better ones, but I was born for some purpose, wasn't I? ;) So, world has to accept me as I am because I'm for good here.

Kitten In My Pocket

Liz Taylor "Kitten In My Pocket"

Ok, it's my Birthday today, if you did not know yet :D

And I'm not going to write some philosophical stuff here like I do all the time. About where is "there"? Where is "he"?

I'm a big girl. I make decisions on my own. I live on my own. I chose the way of my life on my own.
Saying this I realize that all I have chosen is not just like that - everything that happened in my life has its particular reason. Yes, to challenge me and improve my personality.
Last year has been "revolutionary" for me, so to say. I've become observant religious, finished university, left for Berlin, studied in midrasha... Many things happened, many people came in my life, showed me different points of view...

And I'm still the same - Sophie SUNNY Golden - who loves black & white hollywood movies, Salinger's books, having fun with friends and in the end of the day - analyzes her life.
25 - is like you've never even thought before you'd go that far :) do you know what I mean? When I was younger I thought girls of that age were so old and they could not have fun any more. So wrong. Never felt better.

It's all in our head, you know - age, looks, silly stereotypes.

I just refuse to all of this and plan to go on with G-d's help.