2012 Purim, Ok and that's all for now

This year's been full of changes and saying this I feel like deja vu all the time. I think since 2010 my life's been going through such changes that one may go crazy. As for myself - do not worry, never heard someone went in the same water twice as they say.

Anyway, Purim was good, but as every other festival, you wait for it forever and it lasts for a second, then the celebration is gone and you're left with the hope of next and better one. Oh, and loads of chametz to finish till Pesach.


Yes, I baked loads of Hamantaschen this year for Purim and hope people liked them. We had them for Shabbat dessert too and my husband thought they were good enough; since he's only fond of a Russian type of creamy-sweets and fat tarts, it sounded quite as a compliment.
Making Gozinaki did torture me though. I stayed up till late to make it proper so that one could've given away. You need patience to make a good Gozinaki, trust me as I come from "the land of nuts and honey". In the end it came out delicious indeed and hope, people who tried it did not regret knowing me.
That's how our Purim went.
We had this very extraordinary Purim hopping party where we visited three families of our community. Each one of them had a very original idea for food and drinks, there were Russian, Mexican and USA snacks. Very enjoyable, truly. I love Leipzig community more and more, relaxed and family-like, you can be in your shoes and be happy if you know what I mean. Usually it is always hard to stay in your shoes and not to try some fancier ones but the thing is I've always preferred my mainstream shoes to others' couture ones so I like Leipzig better than any other place I've ever lived; even in Tbilisi you get depressed about shoes and all the material crap that is. Well, it's not about the shoes you can always tell.
So right now I absolutely second east Germany.

Pesach is coming up so are some of my important dates and it makes me nervous how am I supposed to clean and prepare everything with my growing self? :) Then I just remember I should not worry and stress myself, but let it go and as I've read here, just feel OK, because when I am OK, everyone else around is OK too.
OK?

Love Is Never Enough

With dearest Chana Rivka

With lovely rebetzin Leah Portnoy & her baby Emuna Brocha

Midrasha gals

I'm leaving for Tbilisi tomorrow.
I can not believe it. CAN YOU?
It feels like I've been here forever. Midrasha has become my life and these girls - important parts of it. I am excited to go home, but hope to come back very soon, bezrat Hashem.

How can I evaluate those 3 months I've been here?
I do not know.
They have been full of fun, love, joy, sun and TORAH LEARNING.
I've become much better person for sure.

And everything started from an e-mail I wrote to Josh, the boss of the place.
It was definitely the beginning of the changes and he made it happen.

I did not like Berlin at first - people were too cold for me, I could not find a friend to talk to... and now I have lots of girls around I can talk to. I got used to midrasha and living with 18 more girls, who have different characters, and they are all just amazing.

There was this community women chanuka party yesterday in midrasha. Paula, Louise and Keren played violins and keyboard, we had tasty food, children were all around... everyone was happy, smily and sweet. When I look at the pictures I took, I can see how my face shines and sparkles. All I ever wanted was - love love love! I always missed family feeling, and suddenly I feel that I belong here to this community. I was happy. I still am.
Even though I've always been loved, it was never enough if you know what I mean.
And I hope more love is coming on my way!!!

Thank you, dear Hashem!
And thanks to all my teachers at the Lauder Institution, best community ever.

Where I stand - after sunset

I stand still.
I stand on my feet.
I stand alone - mostly with G-d.
I stand and sit.
I stand.
Joni Mitchel did not know.
I do.
I guess, I do.

After sunset:
We were on Rykestrasse with the girls today when it started to snow. I went mad really. I ADORE THE SNOW. Everybody else started complaining - ooh, it's gonna be cold, wet... then I understood - I stand somewhere else. It's not the edge of the rye... it's my world, not necessarily sunny, it's just my world, you know. I went into the kitchen and danced with joy alone. May be I should think of becoming hassidish :D
In the evening the make-up lady came to midrasha again and gave free face treat and some girlie class about how to put shadows on your eyes. After my haircut I don't trust her, G-d forgive me, she just could not see my personality. Hello! Why should I hide my face, even though I have square face, eh? So she said. I love my hair - curly and wild.
She made up some girls... well, I preferred them before makeover...
You know who's my new favorite person in our community? Leah Portnoy - she's just so sweet, and smily and dear; been here for 3 months and no-one really greeted me with such sunny face before. I am so happy I met her.
It's -2:32 am. Gotta go to sleep for I have shiurs in the morning...

P.S. I saw a guy looking like Adam Levine of The Maroon 5 :D But he was so shallow and empty, if you know what I mean. He stood not there where I was standing.

Stand tall, Soph!