Silence Is Golden

One of my friends on Facebook just posted this status: "Let thy words be few" and I remembered that I told the same thing to my other friend on Facebook (where else) and that person erased me from its friend list right away. Complicated?

It is funny that I erased someone else yesterday before I got erased myself by "that" very other person. I did that just because he was bugging me and telling me how smart I am and what beautiful soul I have got. Oh my goodness! I hate people keep saying that and plus advertising their websites. That is disgusting. I know very well what kind of person I am. Compliment can be said once, then Thanks and Ciao. Ok, I remember what F. Scott Fitzgerald has said, about advantages and all, but person has to have some logic and brain to analyze people, things and react afterward.

Now it's more complicated, I see :))

That's why I'd rather listen than talk. Although I am no lover of golden things, silence becomes me :)

In my head

Oh, G-d. I just realized that I'm being watched :| well, not by the One above, but by people around the world, who read my blog, express (or never) their opinion and look into my brain (and soul maybe). I knew it before, but when I read other blogs I can understand that I cannot write what I really want and mean anymore. Because people will start to call me, e-mail me about my mood, why, Sophie? This and that...

Suddenly I feel like a lost child of 70's really, who struggles with life in this damn 21st century. Maybe I am very ungrateful person, but I just wanna be happy and I try to be... sometimes it just doesn't work that way.
I know IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD!

February 10th and I am still that Salinger girl who I used to be... trying to cope with all that comes my way. No explanations.

Back Home

No matter how things are, there is always reason to be grateful to Hashem, even if only for the privilege of being a Jew and serving Him joyfully.

'Seeker of Slumbering Souls' - stories of the Baal Shem Tov

I'm back to Tbilisi. HEY YA!
Have arrived on Wednesday morning.
It feels so strange, you know. I do not remember what I was doing before I left for Berlin. What kind of person I was. As for now - I can tell I've become much patient and sunnier person, chasidish lass, as I call myself.

By the way I read The Baal Shem Tov stories this Shabbat. He must have been so sweet and lovely man. I wish I knew him. I love rabbis like that, you can talk to and feel open, like rabbi Meir Roberg too.

So, I thank G-d for everything I have got - for those amazing months in Berlin Midrasha, for the people I've met, for all that I've learned there. For my mum and amazing cousins here in Tbilisi.
I am happy!

P.S. Ella wrote to me on Facebook that it was snowing in Berlin this Shabbat and she remembered me :) Oh, how I wish I was there, I'd dance so much with joy and happiness, how great our Hashem is - snow is a wonder for me, as anything else (I pray to Hashem for the snow in Tbilisi... do pray for me girls please!)

Where I stand - after sunset

I stand still.
I stand on my feet.
I stand alone - mostly with G-d.
I stand and sit.
I stand.
Joni Mitchel did not know.
I do.
I guess, I do.

After sunset:
We were on Rykestrasse with the girls today when it started to snow. I went mad really. I ADORE THE SNOW. Everybody else started complaining - ooh, it's gonna be cold, wet... then I understood - I stand somewhere else. It's not the edge of the rye... it's my world, not necessarily sunny, it's just my world, you know. I went into the kitchen and danced with joy alone. May be I should think of becoming hassidish :D
In the evening the make-up lady came to midrasha again and gave free face treat and some girlie class about how to put shadows on your eyes. After my haircut I don't trust her, G-d forgive me, she just could not see my personality. Hello! Why should I hide my face, even though I have square face, eh? So she said. I love my hair - curly and wild.
She made up some girls... well, I preferred them before makeover...
You know who's my new favorite person in our community? Leah Portnoy - she's just so sweet, and smily and dear; been here for 3 months and no-one really greeted me with such sunny face before. I am so happy I met her.
It's -2:32 am. Gotta go to sleep for I have shiurs in the morning...

P.S. I saw a guy looking like Adam Levine of The Maroon 5 :D But he was so shallow and empty, if you know what I mean. He stood not there where I was standing.

Stand tall, Soph!