Thursday, January 19, 2012

M


It does not happen very often that you have known a person forever and after years that person shows up again all grown up and sophisticated. Then you proudly say: yes, I've always known she would make it.

I was a teenager when I saw Michelle Williams on "Dawson's creek" for the first time and I loved her at once. There was Katie Holmes's character that everybody loved, but I didn't, she had too annoying voice.
Michelle was different.
Time went by and so did the emotions caused by the "Dawson's creek" while I still hate Dawson for being a total creep, not in a good sense though.

I grew up as most people do.
And I saw "If these walls could talk 2". I stayed at my friend's. She went to sleep early and I did not know what to do (there was no internet yet), so I turned the TV on and saw this movie which made a quite impression on me. There are greater actresses in this movie than not-so-well-known Michelle Williams or Chloe Sevigny, but they upstage everyone else around. Who knows, it might just be that I was in 10th grade or something by that time and the subject interested me, like of that feminism, homosexuality and the 70's. The movie is quite emotional and powerful, in an indie Hollywood way though. Probably I wouldn't be that impressed if I saw it now.
Michelle Williams still got it.

The other movie that made me cry was "Me without you". Well, I could not quite identify myself with her character in this movie, but there was something common between us anyway. Smart Jewish girl being friends with the bohemian British girl from crazy family, falling for the brother of the latter; giving up her feelings, thoughts and principles for the childhood friendship. At that time I had also given up "something" (for the different reason) and had let it go.
I've cried over this movie and the feelings of Williams' character because I knew exactly how she felt.
Luckily, that something that I had almost given up did not let me go...


And now she went Marilyn. I wouldn't exaggerate if I say that she's the best Marilyn that has ever been made so far. You know how I adore Marilyn Monroe, so before I watched the trailer I told myself not to judge and not expect anything at all. Just watch and listen. You should never ask from any director or actress to create better Marilyn than she was herself. Impossible.
Michelle did it.
Michelle did it and not because she looks exactly like Marilyn, or walks and talks like her; no, simply because she has this rare humbleness in her character that Marilyn too had. She has a low profile and does not make dramas out of her life, others do.

Michelle created Marilyn and did not spoil anything. She did not try to be more attractive than expected; did not overdo with the appearance or voice.
And what made me happy was that Michelle did not make that terrible looking-fool eyes that most actresses have done when performing Marilyn. Face it, only Marilyn Monroe could do that natural-looking-fool-winking because playing fool is hard especially when it doesn't become to anyone.
Link
Well deserved Golden Globe and more to come.

Michelle, I always knew it. I really did.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Isaiah

Sometimes we have such calm and relaxing Shabbat I absolutely forget the outside world and just immerse myself in my warm home.
This morning I had time to read the weekly parshah "shmot" and its haftarah which was from Isaiah. The latter prophets tend to sadden me: Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ovadiah, but this week's haftarah was not that depressing. It was about the redeemer, theme of hope and rejoice.

Who are we hoping for? Do we really believe that the messiah could really help? Can he really change the social rules or make our economy better? Are we just too infantile to long for the warm motherly chest where you feel so safe you would never leave it if you knew the harshness of the world.
This is hard to understand.

I think the redeemer is inside us. Each one of us was born to carry its burden and not to give in. Yes, sometimes it might get unbearable and you feel so weak you wish you could scream and shout and bring the messiah right away. It does not happen that way though. It never will.
I remember we had amazing Rabbi Osher Baddiel last year visiting the midrasha and giving quite intellectual shiurim about Mashiach. That's what he also said quoting Rambam. Mashiach is not someone who comes and takes away all your debts, or makes water into wine. He could be anything and anyone. He is not to come and make the world easier place to live. No. The world has been designed the way it is, Adam and Eve had done what they could to make our lives extravagant and now it is all up to us to live it. To change what's been done and make the world better place.

What is the WORLD though?

Outside world is nothing that impresses me lately.
I am building this little sunny world inside. You can't change anything without changing yourself, or at least trying to.

Last year was so full of emotions and making decisions, long distance relationship, engagement, wedding, new place, new people... new environment; new him and me. And as it usually happens - loads and loads of people watching you, discussing you, wondering about your life and asking questions forgetting to respect your privacy.
Then, behold, as they say in old books: I realized this is also a part of my life. Part of my searching of the messiah that is none other but us.
Yes, life is meant to be complicated because only then you understand the importance of your people, uniqueness of the person G-d has given you, and last but not least - yourself - all grown up and still growing, groaning and moaning like an old lioness seeking justice and peace.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Capricorn - THE SIGN

To Alla, the true Capricorn from Hannover



Careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one.



Are you a Capricorn?

You cannot just be a Capricorn, you needed to earn to be one somehow. Cannot really tell why do some people deserve to be Capricorns but in fact they do.
I do.
So do you.

Life is what you make it, I have always believed especially then, when I left my sunny home for this cold country and the Berlin Midrasha which changed my life.
Still, looking back and remembering people, things, places that I've seen, been or had, made me realize that everything would be different if I was not a Capricorn. Thank G-d, I am.

Any book you read about zodiac signs you see that the Capricorn is an Earthly sign with strong character traits: ambitious, organized, motivated, stubborn and humorous. What else can you ask for in this world?..
No book or paper will provide you with the true Capricorn features though.

Should I try to?

Well:

All we really strive for is LOVE.
All we really care about is LOVE.
All we really give is LOVE.
All right, some might chuckle about our "lovability" which can get very weird sometimes, because all we do is to put our heart and mind in it and might get obsessed with ideas and ideals, note it.
All or nothing.

There is a little funny fact I cannot get away with. Girl Capricorns always marry THE ones. It might seem little funny but all these four women I mention below were born under the Capricorn sign and please don't tell it is just a coincidence. There are no such thing in my mind. There is something supernatural about Capricorns:
Princess Kate
Michelle Obama
Mrs Saakashvili
Madame Sarkozy
Although your husband is neither prince nor president now, remember, it is just about time. Just about time, have patience ;)

Honestly speaking, it is always up to women what way to choose and which shoes to wear (in this case not literally); and the girl Capricorn is much matured and witty than the boy as it always happens between sexes.
  • Even if a girl Capricorn looks weak and needs a shoulder to cry on, at the end of the day it is her who showers her friends and family with love and comfort, never losing strength and being energetic when exhausted.
  • Girl Capricorn is confident, extremely sensitive and there is little scary thing about her: she can also get icy cold and not let anyone get close. She can shut down herself, eat oneself inside out but never show it to others.
  • Capricorns are very goal-oriented indeed, but most of them do not really care about career. Admit it. Capricorns would love to break free and never let system get them down. They would love to live peaceful life - write, paint, travel and give as much love as it is possible.
  • What is most adorable about Capricorn is that it never loses hope and keeps positivity shining through; Capricorns never give up and if they ever do, it is just because they have found something better to go after.
Capricorns will always be.
Capricorns will always rule (at least their husbands will).

Happy Birthday dear Capricorns of the world, enjoy life! Don't be afraid to rise and fall. Love and be loved. Let the sunshine in!!!