Thursday, September 11, 2014

Raising A Child - Love And Other Things



 חֲנֹךְ לַנַּעַר, עַל-פִּי דַרְכּוֹ

My mum stayed with us for more than a month and when she left last Sunday, I felt like a child, who needed comfort so much, that did not know what to do. I was putting Ezra to sleep while I felt like a child myself who needed his mum right away to soothe him to sleep.

Once my old friend said that she was panicked when realised now she was a mother herself and had to take care of her newborn baby - not just physically, but mentally. 
Honestly, changing diapers and nursing are not that hard (well, they ARE, but not exclusively), giving your child right direction, right education, that is called Chinuch in Hebrew, are indeed.

Every once in a while I also get terrified of being parent and the great responsibility I hold towards my children. 
Will I be able to provide each of them exact things that they need? Will I be able to bring the each one up according to its character as Great King Solomon says, you should train/raise your child according to its own way.
Rabbiner Shimshon Raphael Hirsch brings example of Esav and Yakov, twin brothers whom the Same mother had born. They were brought up in a Same environment and got Similar chances to become what they had to become. Yet, Esav was a wicked man, who could fool his father easily and pretend he was righteous too asking very smart questions, while Yakov became the Patriarch of not only Jewish people, but anyone, who recognises the Bible (let alone Jacob is one of the popular names) by being good man and working on his traits. My personal favourite achievement of his is defeating an Angel or himself, shall I say his Ego, because I am of that opinion, which believes Yakov fought himself at that very night. He had to fight his fears, shortcomings and only afterwards could he win over Esav and his mighty powers, which would later become Rome. I got little carried away, sorry; what I meant to say was, that Rabbi Hirsch talks about those two brothers and suggests, that if they were brought up not Similarly, but in a way that would be suitable for each of them, Esav's story might have been different. He doesn't criticise Yitschak and Rivka's chinuch directly, but only suggests his view on it.

Every child has its own way definitely; he has his very own temperament, character and mission as well.
But now let me look at all this from the point of parents, who also have their own way of upbringing, which is subconsciously caused by the way they were brought up. Some people try to oppose their upbringing while some admire their own parents' methods and keep educating the generation "traditionally". I am not to judge any of them.
I believe one should find its own way (again!) of parenting. From what I've gathered last 2,5 years of parenting, this is a BIGGEST challenge one may have in life, because it is about your most closest person, the one you brought into this world and now are about to make it comfortable in it, right? So, you absolutely want to make the best of it. Everyone wants to be the parent of a leader, winner, genius, and so on... but only very few are.
Do I too? Surely, but as Isaiah put beautifully, I created you and I shall bear you. My children will always be the best to me ananyway.
As for children, they don't need nervous and uptight parents, who make them anxious too. They want to see self-confident, strong-willed and intelligent ones, who can make rules and sometimes even break them. It will take years for children to honestly love and really appreciate their parents, I can tell from my personal experience, but they will if they were brought up with love. As one very wise woman told me once, you can never go wrong with love! First, love yourself, she said, otherwise you can't love your fellow people. 

So this is when I sort of calmed down and let myself relax a bit :-)
Yes, I am a big girl now, although it doesn't bother me to miss my mum and want her to pet my head and massage my tired mama back. 
I am mum myself of two clever and sunny boys, who I want to give my best, make them feel secure and happy, but I also realise that I cannot do everything. I cannot be the best mum in the world, because they will have issues in life, they will get hurt, they will be upset and I might be the one who will contradict, criticise and preach them too.
We are all human and it is fine.
Fine as long as there's love and we know about it - parents and children alike.

Yes to raising a child on its own way, as you say - and do it with love, I say :-)

(Have I been finishing my posts with rhyming lately? So funny!)

Friday, September 5, 2014

The World from Above



This is Maria Sharapova, one of my favourite tennis players.
I really wish I knew how it feels to be so tall and have such beautiful long legs. Really. Does the world seem different or it's the same as for us, 165 cm not-slim-long-legged mamas? I guess I will never know.

Listening to Mindy while writing about Masha's legs.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Eternal War

I've been having hate-hate-hate thing about blogging and internet in general lately. I know it is all about me, but I feel like I don't want to open up and write, while there are so many unsaid issues that really bother and eat me from the inside.

Summer of 2014 has been quite tough. First, we had terrible weather, no sun almost all summer long, temperature never went above 25°C, and I felt like I was sitting in a sort of a bell jar. Not literally, but in a way.

Second, people continue disappointing me and I, once again, take it very close to my heart, which I should not, because I am almost 30, mum of two and all that, that qualify (should?) me as a responsible and intelligent adult. I know this is the longest sentence that is advised not for a blog, but do I seem to care about such details? Exactly.

Third, Israel has been in war. Imagine, or just check Israel on a map and then think of the media blast that was going on through whole summer. It was like some BIG country was terrorising another big one, ok, smaller one. Gaza, people, Gaza, is like a little tumour in Israel's brain and still, it took so many lives and so much weapon to demilitarise that small region, wipe out some terrorists (not sure about that) and lose soldiers, who left young widows and small children, who need their dads so badly.

So, that is why I hated internet last Summer, and probably hated people too. It is us, people, doing wrong, killing, abusing, hurting each other, because we have lost our morality, we have lost our humane spirit and the so-called image of G-d is something that is doubtable, really.
All right, not really of course, how could I deny anything that Torah says, but in reality, at least last Summer proved otherwise.

I wish I could write here that I hope everything will get better and there will be peace, we shall all live in a friendly and warm environment, but sorry, I cannot say that because it is impossible. We probably never will.
If you look through world history, there have been nothing but wars and wars, blood shedding, pogroms, revolutions, more blood shedding, more wars, more tears, more pogroms...

Life is so temporary, like us humans, only war is eternal - be it either internal or external :-(