Languages He understands

(This photo has nothing to do with the post, I just feel like Julie Delpy)

Last update for the year 2010.

Some celebrate New Year and I will celebrate Shabbat tonight. The day of the week when everything stops and all is dedicated to G-d, family and dear people. I don't know what would I be doing without Shabbat, and I cannot either think how I used to live without it. It's the day when I forget about mundane problems and stay alone with Hashem. That's when I can talk to Him openly and tell how I feel, what I want and where I want to be. It is also funny that I always speak to G-d in Georgian when I am sad, in Russian when I am mad, and in English when I feel lonely. He knows every language as you might have guessed.
Although it does not always work that way. Sometimes I do not speak to Him on Shabbat. Because I sleep and sleep all the time, especially if I am sad and blue.

It is not about talking, you know.
Or maybe it is.
It is.
Yes.
Sometimes you need to speak I can't fight it, can I?

Anyways.
I just have decided that I am fictional diarist and that is the genre I'd like to take for my writing. I mean I have already taken it for most of my stories are like diaries.
Wish me luck so my book shall be published soon.

To teenagers and old people

I love waking up when everyone else is asleep. Then I can come downstairs, drink my milk coffee and look out the window.
So quiet and dark.
5:56 am.

My teenage friend Rebekka saw the movie "Into The Wild" and was full of emotions, impressions yesterday. She asked me if it's true that "Happiness is only real when shared"? I suddenly realized that yes, that's what it is actually.
I've been asked what is the stable character trait I've got, I hesitated a little and answered, that it is optimism that I never lose.
Not only optimism.
Empathy.
And now Rebekka actually made me think that I am only happy if my friends, my fellow Jews are happy. Not only Jews really. How can I be happy if my old Kurdish neighbour in Georgia is miserable? Or how can I rejoice if I knew my Georgian childhood friend was unhappy?

Man is not an island, is it?

I am so influenced by the media even though I try to resist.
Yesterday I was thinking how I hate fur and diamonds. So many animals and children are killed because of those luxurious things. Once I told this to my eldest cousin and she looked at me worried: "Sophie, you cannot feed the whole world. Don't think so much."
I can't. Compassion is in my blood.
Remember, I have often said that I wish I was shallower and little stupid girl for my life would have been much easier? I never really meant it. Because it would have never been real me if I were happy-go-lucky with the world vanity.

Thank you, Rebekka Averbach, for that. Now when my mum asks me why do teenagers and old people love me so much, I know what to answer: Ma, it's because I share their happiness as well as their misery.

Argentina dreams. La razon de la Vida

Water Dream by Thomas Neil

What we had in common - our restlessness, our impassioned spirits, and a love for the open road.

Ernesto Che Guevara "Motorcycle Diaries"

Argentina. Buenos Aires.
I had a dream last night. Not realistic at all if you compare sunny Argentina to snowy and freezing Germany where I've been living almost a year.
It is all about Che Guevara who is one of my favourite people who have really inspired me to have free spirit, be not afraid of obstacles, don't rest while I am alive and go for it. Frida Kahlo would have also advised me that: Viva La Vida. No?
Isn't it amazing that these South Americans have such desire for life, love and everything that is worth to be in this world? Even though their economy is terrible, corruption and drug business is blossoming. They still do not give up: dance, sing and believe in positivity.

Whenever I feel solitude I write letters to Che Guevara and Klara Zetkin. Probably because there will be no answer back, plus I know there is some part of them in me I could trust. And it is so symbolic that one is from Argentina and the other - from Germany. My life is so full of specific reasons, isn't it? I wish I could name it somehow: "La Razon De La Vida Del Sol"?

Yesterday when I was walking in the snow and got frozen all over, I was thinking, merde, do I have to die so young and restless just from the cold? I exaggerated a bit, all right.
Although it does not even matter if you die as long as you know the reason of it. Reason you are dead because of searching for something real and FUN.

God took the stars

This song got my heart and soul.

Lemon tea and Torah portion

One more Sunday. What a miracle :)

Just finished my second cup of lemon tea and Torah portion. I did not know that some commentators translate צפרדע as a crocodile. I still prefer classic Rashi, plus frogs are my favourite animals or whatever you call them. What I mostly like is that all the Jewish prophets were human which gives us strength to strive to become like them. I remember rabbi Halpern telling us that Torah is a life book with ordinary people who have suffered, loved, experienced all kind of human feelings which shows us they were no divine creatures. We are same, aren't we? Sometimes I feel so connected to those people I see beautiful and wise Sarah smiling at her baby son or my favourite Jacob blessing his grandchildren like his own.

Berlin is as snowy as it can be. Freezing and my street is empty after holiday.
By the way I was thinking yesterday how lucky Jesus is to have so many people to celebrate his birthday. I would like to talk to him actually, he must have been charismatic personality indeed. Or his lobbyist Saul-Paul was at least. Anyway, it is good if people really believe in values like loving and helping each other, appreciating one G-d and His creation. I like life and the world because of its colourfulness of religions, traditions, cultures. I cannot imagine world without them all.

To resume with my favourite rabbi Halpern's words again, one should never be embarrassed to show its kindness, love and gratefulness to people, and to Hashem for sure. And SMILE! Not just smile, but smile with all your heart and mind. Rather laugh, laugh out your guts because life is what you make it.

I capture the castle

The movie I've recently seen is this British drama "I capture the castle" with Romola Garai and Rose Byrne in it. Natalia recommended it to me for she knows how much I adore Romola. But I should say that in this case I liked Rose Byrne more. I think it is one of her good roles and she fits so well into this shallow and silly character of Rose Mortmain. Romola was less sympathetic in this movie probably because she played teenage girl even though she has always looked much older, and is indeed more matured than her older sister. I also did not click to Henry Thomas - who will always remain the "E.T" sweet boy. He looks like an old youngster which is kind of scary.


I loved Bill Nighy though. He is something and Britain should be proud of him. He's got very fascinating, extraordinary character which makes everyone watch his movies.

Still movie was worth to see for beautiful green scenery, Romola's inspiring radio voice, redhead Rose Byrne, their crazy stepmother and music which makes it easier in the end.

Quote of the day

"Yeah, life's too short. We have to love each other."

Drew Barrymore

With Justin Long

Drew and Courtney Love

Drew with the sweet "Grey's anatomy's" cast

Penelope Cruz and Drew